Aloha !

The 10 crucial steps to let a meeting succeed.

1.Tell everyone about people that are coming, and mention lots of names so the people that are named need to say they can’t or aren’t willing to come

2.Give a stupid reason for the meeting. Like going to the same place again where you met all those people because a band played their a year ago.

3.Make it obvious that you need help for every little thing like choosing the transport.

4.Make it a meeting of 4 days so you can be sure that after one day you’ve got nothing more to talk about which will make it even more boring.

5.Misjudge costs completely of how much it costs to get to a meeting place either from within, or outside the country in question. Also allow for misjudgement (read: forgetting completely about) of costs to and from airports, of staying in one of the most expensive cities in Europe...

6.Be sure you all go into the same cheap hotel and sleep together on one big room so everyone can complain to eachother the next day about how noisy others are in their sleep.

7.Pretend like everyone’s looking forward to it while in fact you’re the only one that’s really looking forward to it, because the rest is pretty fed up with you always trying to get it under their attention.

8.Try to relive an experience that "others" experienced for completely different reasons a year earlier, despite the fact that that reason is no longer there, nor are most of the people involved.

9.Try to relive that experience by doing a pilgrimage to that place again while the reason you were there before is no longer there so you’ll standing there looking and eachother while not knowing how to behave and saying "well this is it" while bringing up memories that no one can share because they all have different memories with people that were not stupid enough to go

10.Set a date in the most expensive time of the year when it comes to travelling of which you’re not sure yet but se sure to change the date just a few weeks before going so everyone needs to change flights again which will make it even more expensive.

Now if you’ve done all this and it still failed then all get very drunk (in a city that is one of the most expensive cities in the world) this will save the meeting and it will save your own ass as no-one will be able to remember how miserable it all was.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan