Things That You Have Learnt From American Movies

I think many of you have seen this one, but I find this very funny, so for those who haven't seen this, enjoy

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people-whether they are employed or not.

2. One of a pair of identical twins is always born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. Interestingly, alien computers seem to be IBM compatible.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7. If you are blonde & pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systemsdeadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

9. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.

14. In war it is impossible to die unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. (It used to be an English accent for the German).

16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through.

19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

20. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

Teemu

thank you for posting

ROFLMAO at those. Some of them are from Bond movies I beleive, which makes them British, but they're still funny anyway.

This is one to get forwarded to all my mates, lol.

Thanks.

thanz for posting Teemu

Those are very funny! I like the L-shaped sheets one.

excellent!

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.


These particularly made me laugh.

Lol - Very Funny

Those were funny. One popped into my mind while reading them.....

If alone and going to investigate strange noises/occurances make sure you slam any door you come in contact with.


Thanks for posting

27. no matter which countries fight against each other- in the end america wins

thank you ! this made me laugh a lot