Tonight I feel so torn. Listening to What a Wonderful world, almost crying, almost laughing, still too afraid to do either...

On personal level, I'm doing really well. No, great is the word! I have many people around me who I love deeply, been together with my girl for about a year now and everything is going better and better on that sector. Going to start studies in Autumn and a wild summer is ahead. But when you look around you, it isn't the world that I _feel_ personally. It isn't a wonderful world. Outside our nice little country, world is full of sadness, misery, pain, loss - death.

Everything is so f'uckin relative, or excessive (and I have lost my fre'king english vocabulary). Read the morning newspaper. A bomb has hit civilians homes. There is only one picture in the page. A picture of a man vith nothing but infinite, endless sadness, plain horror. He has lost his wife, his 3 children, his home, his entire life. "But life still goes on..." Right? Well it damn' right isn't! The explosion cost in money tens of times more than that man is ever going to earn by working. At the same time it also cost lives of 4 human beings. Never be re-build.

What kind of authority is capable of ordering the outcome of dozens of human lives? Or actually accomplishing that kind of mission? How is it possible that United States has virtually been in war for some 15 years but people keep on going their normal lives, watching latest oh-so-exciting war reports every day from telly when the other side can watch it from their windows?

The economical growth has been good all of the time, war industry is doing better than ever, the permanent member states (UK, France, US, China, Russia) produce vast majority of the weapons in the world(!) and so on and so on. Because war is business like no other! President of the United States has told that they don't afford to lessen the production, can't afford it. There would be too much unemployed, ec. growth would stop etc.

How can you bring peace to the world by war? Every bomb makes someone more and more bitter, no matter the outcome, future, because at the moment you see your whole life been torn apart, you cannot see ANY furure. Because world is black to a blind man.

And please, don't make any referances to twin towers or anything. People committing suicide bombings are exactly these kind of people who have lost EVERYTHING, to whom nothing else matters. They only want revenge. Does it sound familiar? Are we all alike?

What A Wonderful World

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world