What Men really mean....

And mine collects stamps, little lead soldiers and all sorts of things, i think it's really expensive too sometimes. I prefer shoes

Me too! shoes are useful... but again music instrument for my BF are great because I get too heard play music!

Some rules for the girls
>
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATHS

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and
cackling, telling me: "You're next." They stopped after I started
doing the same thing to them at funerals.

That's great.....

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and
cackling, telling me: "You're next." They stopped after I started
doing the same thing to them at funerals.

I like this bit especially!

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend


where is he ??? i want one like that

that's amazing rosscoe still laughing after reading it thrice :P

Here's some my cousin e-mailed me........

DEFINITIONS BY GENDER

THINGY:
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra

VULNERABLE:
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Skating with your head down watching the puck in the other team's half.

COMMUNICATION:
female: The sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's
partner.
male: Leaving a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT:
female: The body part that "looks bigger" no matter what is
worn.
male: What you slap when someone scores a touchdown, home run, or goal.
Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT:
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Trying not to pick up other women while out with girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT:
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE:
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

so true !!