Which is the best?

Russ I ask that you please seek help

Oh i was trying to be like Monty Python but it didnt work so i'll go away and sit in the corner now

Does remind me of a Python moment, though probably not the same as the one you had in mind:

Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harbouring a known criminal?
Matthias: No.
Centurion: Crucifixion.
Matthias: Oh.
Centurion: Nasty, eh?
Matthias: Hm. Could be worse.
Centurion: What do you mean, 'could be worse'?
Matthias: Well, you could be stabbed.
Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours! It's a slow, horrible death!
Matthias: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.
Centurion: You're weird.

I was thinking of the last scene of Braveheart

And Jim - I've had 3 kids so if I want to b!tch about it - I'm entitled. Arm wrestling is over a lot sooner than labour and birth

Kathleen

I wouldn't know as I don't have any balls.


But, how often a year do you get kicked in the balls???????

Depends roughly on how many ladies you cheat on

Well, then I'd still have no sympathy. My menstrual cramps happen despite my faithfulness

Aloha !

It depends on what you see as not having any balls when it comes to a woman.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan

# We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of
cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamiclegs.
# We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of
our sexuality.
# When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll
it's sad.
# We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as
'short woman's complex'.
# We don't have to get our strength up between sessions and it's
much easier for us to get laid in the first place.
# We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old
perverts.
# We never ejaculate prematurely.
# The real beauty of e-mail is obvious to us - a further dimension to
our social lives.
# We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder
excuses.
# We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our
calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
# We know that Tetris is the computer game to end all games.
# We got off the Titanic first.
# Our boyfriends' clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous? They
look like complete dicks in ours.
# We have total control over our eyebrows.
# We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
# It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.
# We look good in the second hand gear, and therefore save money by
going to the salvation army. When men do the same thing they look like
they're wearing clothes somebody died in, which they are.
# We can cry and get off speeding fines.
# The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts and pool
and football.
# We're allowed to be angry with men when they leave the toilet
seat up. They however, have no comeback when we leave it down.
# We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing
inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers. Men die earlier so
we get to cash in on the life insurance.
# We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct
correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our genital.
# Taxis stop for us.
# We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
# We can pretend to be pregnant and get lots of attention on buses.
Or we can be pregnant and get lots of attention everywhere.
# We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in
a computer game.
# It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner
workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look
INCREDIBLY cool if we do.
# We don't sulk for 3 days when caught incorrectly identifying
actors from obscure 70's detective programs; Chick Flicks; Soap
Operas.
# We never recognise ourselves in aspects of Mr Bean. Ever.
# Girls are much better dancers. Sorry. We just are.
# We can wear pink.
# And throw underarm in Baseball.
# And sit cross legged.
# Painting nails ... fingers and toes.