work and relationships - rant

Do you want it to never happen at all or just "not now" ?

If it is the later, as I believe, then either keep things as they are until the end of the project, or, if you're confident the feelings are shared, talk to him openly about it. From his reaction you'll know if he's worth it anyway )

If you don't want anything to happen between the two of you, then... aaaah why bother, you DO want something to happen.

Ponrauil

forbidden controlled lust/love is always the best..... u are the only person making it forbidden, makes for more electricity, your work enviroment makes it controlled.... in some ways it makes for perfection,...u appear to always have something in common -work ! having a joint product to work on makes you an automatic team, like a marraige, question... if he wasnt your work colleague what would you have in common. Perhaps spend a few dates with him and agree not to talk about work and see what you have then.

You say he is an opposite , why ? What makes him feel opposite.

This whole country is full is co-workers dating and having affairs, so the question is why are you really stopping yourself, teasing yourself might be more fun than biting the bullet and going for it or deep down you know you are to different.

Give people a choice, a career option or a partner, most people would choose the partner theres always another job !

Dawn

I honestly thought of this story yesterday, Maria and was about to send you a PM about it. Then the kid got ill and I didn't get at my comp anymore. Funny to see this morning that you opened a thread about it.

*doing a Jim*:
But I digress.

I still say fire his ass (or maybe wait with that until the project's over) and just **** him

Forbidden fruits always seem the best - how sure are you that you'd like him if he wasn't in such a no-go area?

Quote of the thread LOL.

There is something to be said about the forbidden fruit though.

yes.

just ****ing yes, and good luck spunky.

[honestly? I don't know. Nope, I do know. I'd rather it not happen.

A while ago I decided not to date for a long time and certainly not to date anybody younger than me cause clearly I needed to resolve some issues. Plus, it's so much easier to live a life without that distraction. I don't do well in relationships and while I can deal with sexual relationships, emotional ones funking kill me!!! And that is what this is evolving into. While it was still the 'want to get into your pants' stage, it was somewhat difficult but I am now a freaking wreck when he isn't there. That is not me!!!!

I don't want it to happen. I don't want it to happen like I don't want any more of those horribly ****ed up relationships. I don't want to feel this way any more. I don't want to be in a meeting and constantly think of 'him' and I don't want to sit on my computer at midnight and type rants about some dude who has me wrapped around his finger at midnight on a Wednesday night! I certainly don't want to get sucked into this helpless feeling over some guy who uses his irresistible charm to get into the pants of some chick! I don't want to go there cause it scares me. He is too young to be seriously interested in me. It seems right and it feels good at the moment but sooner or later it will end up terribly painful. No - I don't want it to happen. But I feel that it is too late and/or out of my control to block it. He constantly gets too close - he comes up to supposedly ask me questions and he gets so close I can feel his breath on my neck! AT work!!!! He touches me all the time. He touches my hands when I hand him stuff, he touches my hands when we look at documents and I point stuff out, we look at the computer screen and his shoulder touches mine. We are in the file room and he blocks my way and I have to tell him to move so I can pass him without practically press up against him --- normal people step out of the way without being asked to, btw ---- I feel like he is putting me in this position on purpose and I am utterly helpless cause a) I like it if he touches me and b) I like his breath on my neck and c) I love the way he looks at me and d) his smile makes my knees go weak and e) I've had the most amazing conversations with him and f) we act like freaking teenagers - half the time we don't talk anymore but look at each other and break out in laughter cause we know what the other person thinks....

I don't like it cause it involves me emotionally in ways I can't hack!

Exactly! I do want to **** him but I don't want to get emotionally involved. There! Now what?



His upbringing. His Dad is the CEO of big big client of ours. I refuse to know anything about it but I do know something vaguely about it cause he can't work on that client. I don't care about that shit and I admit I was biased at first cause I thought he was some Daddy's little boy - cute, preppy and spoiled. Sooo not my type. (I've since learned he is Daddy's little boy and spends tons of time with him - which is the polar opposite to me as I don't talk to my father) He is not super ambitious - not saying he isn't ambitious but he doesn't constantly jockey for that perfect position that will get him ahead. Very unlike me. He never gets worked up about work - unlike me. He doesn't seem to ever get stressed - unlike me. He is very much into his health - unlike me He bakes ****ing cookies. What man bakes cookies???? He cooks. He is totally metrosexual. I am not into fashion. I don't bake. I do cook though. I seriously considered whether or not he is gay. He admits he finds 'the actor whose name I forgot' hot! What straight guy will say some other guy is hot???????? He claims he isn't gay and he's had plenty of girlfriends in the past. Which really doesn't mean too much ... We bond over the fact that while he is all that - he also is freaking bad boy and we relate so much on that level .... he admits having been an incredible asshole to all his ex-girlfriends. HIs last girlfriend - the one I met and that he never introduced to me while spending the entire night talking to me even though he came with her .... tried to run him over in her car when they broke up. She hates his ****ing guts. All my exes hate my ****ing guts. We bonded over that... :S

I am rambling I know.

OH, and he IS a snob!!!! He doesn't lead on to it but he tripped. I called him out on it and he didn't deny it. He is a snob when it comes to girls and will admit he wouldn't date a girl unless she had degrees and a profession. Very much not like me.



I love you! Best advice ever

There is very much to it. I must admit I enjoy the sexual tension and touching while not having to articulate it and not having to face it. We can allude to stuff but go home separately and not have to wake up with each other. By not talking about it and calling it what it is and by continuing but not making progress, we can enjoy it without ever having to face any consequences....

Tough shit Maria!

Not saying that is not good advice, but I just want to bring up the question that if a 30 year old + guy on this forum had given that advice to another 30 year old + guy about a young female co-worker... would everyone have seen this as the best advice ever? Honestly?

Back on topic, Maria, all I can add is that it's never good to refrain feelings and be afraid of them. As they say, better to regret something you did than something you wish you'd done. A job will never be worth a life. You (or him) can always get another job. Though again, I'm sure there's a way to minimise professional consequences, wether he becomes Mr Spunkywho or your new **** buddy or your ex-future-lover.


Ponrauil

I'm with Alex (you wish... ), and Ponrauil. Avoid professional problems, but **** him.

Ice

People who say they don't want to get emotionally involved can't get any more emotionally involved than they already are. Honestly, the way you talk, Maria, it's not just sex you want.

Maybe a little inappropriate, but this thread was ****ing hot. Holy shit!