I don't think you are silly at all, Keeper. Work has such a tremendous impact on our lives - as a whole - that none of it is silly at all.

I do, however, think that you need to do a very serious overhaul and take a very very critical look at yourself on how you conduct yourself at work and how you interact with this woman.

In no way do I think you did things wrong or make mistakes that would warrant a reaction from a boss like those (because we all make mistakes), but something about you empowers that woman to turn into a bitch and treat you like an inferior object. Something about you lets her do this to you.

Since you stated you can't change jobs, you will have to change your interactions with her. Don't change your attitude, cause attitudes are feelings and to say 'don't feel bad' or 'get over it' is ridiculous. You are not really in charge of your feelings and emotions - they ARE you. You are, however, in charge of how you handle situations.

There are a lot of things you can do to take the wind out of her sails from the getgo. None of them will please her or make her like you more. However, you'll be able to say: 'she's a bitch and I make her admit it'.



I like to say that 'I've grown up sooooo much at work over the years of my career and I do know that some men would label me as a bitch. I have no problem with that. I know I am not a bitch. After all, if a guy acts like I do, he is called a 'great business man', if a woman does, she is a bitch. Means nothing to me as long as I get what I want. Usually that means EQUALITY. In fact, I had one male boss tell me that I am too intimidating. Which made me laugh cause anyone who has ever worked with me on a peer level and/or knows me will call me anything but intimidating. It's the people who bully that can't take it when someone stands up for themselves and the entire team and lets the air out of their inflated egos that find me intimidating.

Anyway. Without knowing the exact issues, I can only tell you what to do in general ways.

If she gives you a list of tasks, make sure you write down what exactly and how exactly she wants it done. Ask many questions and re-iterate (ad nauseum) that you need to know EXACTLY what she wants in order to deliver. After all, we don't want another litany of 'errors' or 'mistakes'. Be proactive.

If she emails you with questions you have already answered. Make sure you follow up each and every question with an email, answering AGAIN and letting her know that you 'just wanted to clarify the earlier conversation to ensure a smooth and efficient execution of the project'. Whenever she asks the same question again, answer politely and attach the previous email where you already explained it earlier. Explain briefly and end with 'I've attached the email discussing this issue with you x weeks/days ago for more detail'. CC her boss.

If she pisses you off to the point where you feel like crying. Gather yourself, wait a day, then knock on her door and tell her you have to discuss somethign with her. Call her out. Tell her that you do not appreciate her tone and tell her you are there to give her the opportunity to openly discuss any and all issues she may have with your work or yourself. Make it positive. Tell her that you need more clarification as to what exactly her problems are as you sense that there might be something but it seems that she isn't comfortable to 'just come out and say it'. Tell her that one of your main objectives is 'open and honest communication'. Usually that is a 'core value' in any company and, thus, in the spirit of following company values, you feel it is necessary to have a talk.

I realize that this might be hard to do. Like I said, I had to grow up at work. Especially as females we don't like confrontations and we just want a good climate. Unfortunately, some of us and them (men) don't share that same philosophy.

I know it'll be hard and you'll tell me you can't do that for xyz reasons. But you can. Take little steps. It'll get easier and easier to get into those offices and tell them what you want and make them give it to you.