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#331
09-21-2003, 06:21 PM
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__________________
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky 
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#332
09-22-2003, 11:08 PM
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__________________
 What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most What part of my soul is crying For crying out loud What part of my heart is beating Faster than the speed of love Is this the way that it's supposed to be What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most Come a little bit closer Come here now Let's see
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#333
09-23-2003, 01:16 AM
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I'm sorry, I'm sorry dude! Just started college and having a little bit of a problem adjusting to the workload. Taking a quick look at Back, I'd say that the verses seem to be not very detailed, thats really a feature of ballads, they're kinda long and flowing, even rock ballads. I'll have another look in more detail ASAP. I read the PM as well, and I like it a lot, although I don't think I can offer any input on that one cos I can't really write rap rock, although I spose I might as well start somewhere
 Keep On Rockin'
__________________
 Sometimes you can just lay down You can play the game You can take the cards that they deal ya And you can just pretend it's all over BUT NOT ME!!!
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#335
09-23-2003, 09:05 PM
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Don't push it Sara. Do whatever you feel like doing you know. We can handle this if you want. Alternatively, a creative outlet can be a good thing. So says Dr. Walrus
 Keep On Rockin'
__________________
Sometimes you can just lay down You can play the game You can take the cards that they deal ya And you can just pretend it's all over BUT NOT ME!!!
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#337
09-23-2003, 11:21 PM
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Walrus:Take your time if school is hard. I'll always be hanging around DC.
The Project can easily be changed to rock, I just hear it as Linkin Park-ish. Also, what about Back should be changed? Should I go for more detail? You know pretty much the whole story of the song from the collected posts, what should I rewrite/change/etc?Tawtami:While it'd be great if you had something by Sunday, but if you're having a hard time, don't feel rushed. Take whatever time you need to straighten things out, both in life and music. Hope things go well for you. Adrian
__________________
What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most What part of my soul is crying For crying out loud What part of my heart is beating Faster than the speed of love Is this the way that it's supposed to be What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most Come a little bit closer Come here now Let's see
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#338
09-26-2003, 12:02 PM
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TAke ur time guys, let always put ur education first, music can wait but not education. I know still u guys can get plenty of time from ur education to gett in to music.
__________________
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky
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#339
09-27-2003, 01:31 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I'm trying to think of a way to tie it together, but I'm having a little trouble... mainly, my notes are: 1) I hate the first verse 2)Needs a stronger start IMO 3)This is a long first verse... I have no complaints with that in itself, in fact I quite like that its not a formulaic rock ballad, but I think the structure wants to be a bit more varied, rather than the same "4 lines, 2nd and 4th rhyme" structure on every part Ooooh yeah, I like the chorus Keep On Rockin'
__________________
Sometimes you can just lay down You can play the game You can take the cards that they deal ya And you can just pretend it's all over BUT NOT ME!!!
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#340
09-29-2003, 04:17 PM
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Quote:
 By the way, what didn't you like about it?Quote:
I'll get to work on some new verse-parts. That just sounds funny... Can you come up with anything? Thanks, Adrian
__________________
What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most What part of my soul is crying For crying out loud What part of my heart is beating Faster than the speed of love Is this the way that it's supposed to be What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most Come a little bit closer Come here now Let's see
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