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  #351  
Old 10-16-2003, 10:55 PM
Adrian's Avatar
Adrian Adrian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Here it is , i don't it is good or bad. I just post it, u guys give me ur opnion or u can take something from it, u can do it.

HEARTBREAK TOWN

This town where i learn to fly higher
This town where i build dreams to be colour
All these time, friends were friends
Love was real and life was full....everyday

Why everything started so good turn so bad?
Why all these dreams come crashing down to hunt?
Too many questions, too little answer
Too much pain, too little comfort......nightmare.



Blame it to lick, blame it to life
All i blame is this town,.........Heartbreak town.



Its a Heartbreak town
I'm still feeling the hard pain
Its a heartbreak town
I'm still seeing the blood stain.
Its no love town
Hate is running in all its vain
Every smiles burried in its soil
Only broken boy left to weep at the distance.
This is good! Do you have a tune for it? Even in your head? Unfortunately, parts of it doesn't rhyme. Do you mind if I play with those parts, rewrite them a little so they do rhyme? Do you mind if I add anything to it? Also, do you really mean Blame it to lick? That doesn't make much sense to me. Do you mean "blame it on love" by any chance?

This is really good work!

Adrian
__________________


What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most
What part of my soul is crying
For crying out loud
What part of my heart is beating
Faster than the speed of love
Is this the way that it's supposed to be
What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most
Come a little bit closer
Come here now
Let's see
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  #352  
Old 10-17-2003, 12:07 AM
Captain Walrus's Avatar
Captain Walrus Captain Walrus is offline
Moderator
Tokyo Road
 
Join Date: 03 Aug 2002
Location: West Sussex, UK
Age: 35
Gender: male
Posts: 11,395
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Here it is , i don't it is good or bad. I just post it, u guys give me ur opnion or u can take something from it, u can do it.

HEARTBREAK TOWN

This town where i learn to fly higher
This town where i build dreams to be colour
All these time, friends were friends
Love was real and life was full....everyday

Why everything started so good turn so bad?
Why all these dreams come crashing down to hunt?
Too many questions, too little answer
Too much pain, too little comfort......nightmare.



Blame it to lick, blame it to life
All i blame is this town,.........Heartbreak town.



Its a Heartbreak town
I'm still feeling the hard pain
Its a heartbreak town
I'm still seeing the blood stain.
Its no love town
Hate is running in all its vain
Every smiles burried in its soil
Only broken boy left to weep at the distance.
Hey, I like that Nice job Mr. Manager

Keep On Rockin'
__________________


Sometimes you can just lay down
You can play the game
You can take the cards that they deal ya
And you can just pretend it's all over
BUT NOT ME!!!
Reply With Quote
  #353  
Old 10-17-2003, 11:07 AM
allmike's Avatar
allmike allmike is offline
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian
Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Here it is , i don't it is good or bad. I just post it, u guys give me ur opnion or u can take something from it, u can do it.

HEARTBREAK TOWN

This town where i learn to fly higher
This town where i build dreams to be colour
All these time, friends were friends
Love was real and life was full....everyday

Why everything started so good turn so bad?
Why all these dreams come crashing down to hunt?
Too many questions, too little answer
Too much pain, too little comfort......nightmare.



Blame it to lick, blame it to life
All i blame is this town,.........Heartbreak town.



Its a Heartbreak town
I'm still feeling the hard pain
Its a heartbreak town
I'm still seeing the blood stain.
Its no love town
Hate is running in all its vain
Every smiles burried in its soil
Only broken boy left to weep at the distance.
This is good! Do you have a tune for it? Even in your head? Unfortunately, parts of it doesn't rhyme. Do you mind if I play with those parts, rewrite them a little so they do rhyme? Do you mind if I add anything to it? Also, do you really mean Blame it to lick? That doesn't make much sense to me. Do you mean "blame it on love" by any chance?

This is really good work!

Adrian
You can play as u want, I know it need something more to complete. So guys put ur work to it. :P :P
__________________
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on
The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds
For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky
Reply With Quote
  #354  
Old 10-17-2003, 11:10 AM
allmike's Avatar
allmike allmike is offline
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Join Date: 04 Dec 2002
Location: india, now in Dubai
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Walrus
Quote:
Originally Posted by allmike
Here it is , i don't it is good or bad. I just post it, u guys give me ur opnion or u can take something from it, u can do it.

HEARTBREAK TOWN

This town where i learn to fly higher
This town where i build dreams to be colour
All these time, friends were friends
Love was real and life was full....everyday

Why everything started so good turn so bad?
Why all these dreams come crashing down to hunt?
Too many questions, too little answer
Too much pain, too little comfort......nightmare.



Blame it to lick, blame it to life
All i blame is this town,.........Heartbreak town.



Its a Heartbreak town
I'm still feeling the hard pain
Its a heartbreak town
I'm still seeing the blood stain.
Its no love town
Hate is running in all its vain
Every smiles burried in its soil
Only broken boy left to weep at the distance.
Hey, I like that Nice job Mr. Manager

Keep On Rockin'
Thanks Walrus. I know u can add more to it.

When Walrus say he like it, it means big complement coz he is straight forward guy. :P
__________________
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on
The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds
For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky
Reply With Quote
  #355  
Old 10-20-2003, 07:15 PM
Adrian's Avatar
Adrian Adrian is offline
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It's my post
 
Join Date: 31 Oct 2002
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Age: 35
Gender: male
Posts: 4,805
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I'm still here. I'd like to finish Back before working on Heartbreak Town though. Walrus, I'm gonna need your help finishing Back. We're so close to ending this one, but I just can't seem to write it. Please help! Thanks,

Adrian
__________________


What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most
What part of my soul is crying
For crying out loud
What part of my heart is beating
Faster than the speed of love
Is this the way that it's supposed to be
What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most
Come a little bit closer
Come here now
Let's see
Reply With Quote
  #356  
Old 10-20-2003, 11:38 PM
Captain Walrus's Avatar
Captain Walrus Captain Walrus is offline
Moderator
Tokyo Road
 
Join Date: 03 Aug 2002
Location: West Sussex, UK
Age: 35
Gender: male
Posts: 11,395
Default

I think I'm makin' myself sick
Trying to think of ways to say I lied
But I stumble on my words
They just won't come out
So I just go on the way I am
Can't even say I tried
This is kinda starting to hurt
I'm starting to doubt
How I ever could've thought of you

We're both looking forward
To the day when we can be together
Its coming, [but] not real soon
It'll take some time
But they can't hold me back forever
Someday this will all be through

They tell us we should give this up
Let all we've fought for fall to the floor
God knows we should be over
But I can't walk through your door

I remember that night
You told me how much I wanted you
I laughed and said no
How could you see the truth

Then I left
But I came back again
You said I came back for you
I said you were just a friend



Right, thats all the stuff we've got so far. I'm gonna have a little play around and see what I can come up with

Keep On Rockin'
__________________


Sometimes you can just lay down
You can play the game
You can take the cards that they deal ya
And you can just pretend it's all over
BUT NOT ME!!!
Reply With Quote
  #357  
Old 10-20-2003, 11:55 PM
Captain Walrus's Avatar
Captain Walrus Captain Walrus is offline
Moderator
Tokyo Road
 
Join Date: 03 Aug 2002
Location: West Sussex, UK
Age: 35
Gender: male
Posts: 11,395
Default

Back
One word
A million emotions
I can still remember the first time

That night
You thought you could speak for me
You told me I loved you
I laughed and said no
How could I see the truth



OK, thats my idea for the opening, what do you think?

Keep On Rockin'
__________________


Sometimes you can just lay down
You can play the game
You can take the cards that they deal ya
And you can just pretend it's all over
BUT NOT ME!!!
Reply With Quote
  #358  
Old 10-21-2003, 11:11 AM
allmike's Avatar
allmike allmike is offline
Senior Member
I Don't Want To Post Forever
 
Join Date: 04 Dec 2002
Location: india, now in Dubai
Age: 45
Gender: male
Posts: 13,407
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Walrus
I think I'm makin' myself sick
Trying to think of ways to say I lied
But I stumble on my words
They just won't come out
So I just go on the way I am
Can't even say I tried
This is kinda starting to hurt
I'm starting to doubt
How I ever could've thought of you

We're both looking forward
To the day when we can be together
Its coming, [but] not real soon
It'll take some time
But they can't hold me back forever
Someday this will all be through

They tell us we should give this up
Let all we've fought for fall to the floor
God knows we should be over
But I can't walk through your door

I remember that night
You told me how much I wanted you
I laughed and said no
How could you see the truth

Then I left
But I came back again
You said I came back for you
I said you were just a friend



Right, thats all the stuff we've got so far. I'm gonna have a little play around and see what I can come up with

Keep On Rockin'
This is good i love it. :P
So guys u came up any tunes for any of the songs??.
__________________
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on
The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds
For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky
Reply With Quote
  #359  
Old 10-22-2003, 04:01 PM
Adrian's Avatar
Adrian Adrian is offline
Senior Member
It's my post
 
Join Date: 31 Oct 2002
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Age: 35
Gender: male
Posts: 4,805
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Walrus
Back
One word
A million emotions
I can still remember the first time

That night
You thought you could speak for me
You told me I loved you
I laughed and said no
How could I see the truth



OK, thats my idea for the opening, what do you think?

Keep On Rockin'
The Walrus:This is great! The intro is really descriptive. I'm really impressed. I'll get to work on some more verses. Oh, just an afterthought, when you posted all the stuff we had, you forgot the choruses. I'll post those later.

Adrian
__________________


What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most
What part of my soul is crying
For crying out loud
What part of my heart is beating
Faster than the speed of love
Is this the way that it's supposed to be
What Part Of My Body Hurts The Most
Come a little bit closer
Come here now
Let's see
Reply With Quote
  #360  
Old 10-22-2003, 06:23 PM
allmike's Avatar
allmike allmike is offline
Senior Member
I Don't Want To Post Forever
 
Join Date: 04 Dec 2002
Location: india, now in Dubai
Age: 45
Gender: male
Posts: 13,407
Send a message via MSN to allmike Send a message via Yahoo to allmike
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Walrus
Back
One word
A million emotions
I can still remember the first time

That night
You thought you could speak for me
You told me I loved you
I laughed and said no
How could I see the truth



OK, thats my idea for the opening, what do you think?

Keep On Rockin'
The Walrus:This is great! The intro is really descriptive. I'm really impressed. I'll get to work on some more verses. Oh, just an afterthought, when you posted all the stuff we had, you forgot the choruses. I'll post those later.

Adrian
I also really love it, when we going to compose all these song, that would be really good.
__________________
I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on
The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds
For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky
Reply With Quote
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