I thought I should come up with something snappy, but hey, paragraphs if you want

I'll start on Motley Crue. Very of their time. If they had started in any other decade than the 1980s they would have died an early death. Unfortunately for the world, they did start in the '80s and became succesfull. Due to the hair metal scene, where idiots who acted all hard but had hair 100 times the size of the balls and wore shit makeup could make a living, and be passed off as 'cool' and 'rock n roll' by metal fans, desperate for something that wasn't new wave pop, they found sucess.

And so, with their not so unique brand of pussy metal, they conquered the world. Well, a few medium sized arenas anyway. They're not actually very big, and were only FAIRLY big in the 80s. Their albums featured deep songs about how they roamed around LA, ****in' (as the Crue would spell it) all the girls and taking heroin, in their ridiculous spandex suits. Thankfully, in the 90s, Grunge came along, then Britpop and wiped all these shit bands out of the arenas. Bon Jovi survived because they could move with the times. All the others sucess decreased rapidly, until many of them split up. Only Bon Jovi really survived, because they could move with the times, and they had good songs, and a singer who could sing, and a talented band...UNLIKE MOTLEY CRUE.

Def Leppard are marginally better. They don't pretend to be hard, and I've never heard a live recording of them, so I can't judge. They also look a lot less like idiots. And even if Joe Elliot is a shit live singer, I doubt he sounds like a Chipmunk. Still not a good band, though.

Those two bands, and just about every other hair metal band stopped having relevance after the '80s. In fact, during the 80s many people saw them as non-relevant. Many people in Britain were listening to The Smiths, The Stone Roses and Happy Mondays. But really, as soon as the decade finished, these bands were over. In 1990 they packed up their bags, and headed down to your local pub, to play their shit cheese and probably drink themselves to death. Nobody cared anymore. Everyone would rather listen to Nirvana.

And THAT is why they are shit and not relevant.