Anyway, Happy Birthday Richie Sambora!

Not only did I understand what SadieLady said but I was also pretty sure that I understood what you THOUGHT she was saying. (I don’t need your help on that, but thanks anyway.) You assumed SadieLady blamed Jon for Richie’s alcoholism.

In fact, what SadieLady wrote was that RICHIE “saw his job as keeping the lead singer (Jon) happy” and that she THOUGHT it was THAT (i.e., RICHIE’s PERCEPTION) which “cost him big time and contributed to some extent to his alcoholism.”

At no point did she say, or imply, that Jon WAS responsible; she said she thought that Richie’s understanding of his role was a contributing factor.

It was another case of Jon fans seeing boogie-men where none exist. Everything is not about Jon. Every comment is not about Jon. Everyone who supports Richie does not, in fact, hate Jon or hold him accountable for the issues at hand. Some of us like Jon as much as you say you like Richie and, like you, have fingers and toes crossed for a resolution, sooner rather than later.

Furthermore, just because I suspect that Jon does have a part to play in this whole drama doesn’t mean that I absolve Richie from any part he may have in it either. And it doesn’t make me like Jon any less or have any less respect for him (for either of them, for that matter) because nobody’s perfect and I haven’t walked a mile in his shoes any more than I have Richie’s.

And since I’m playing catch-up anyway… I fully recognize Richie’s flaws, the ones I know about anyway. I don’t think he’s perfect any more than I think Jon is. I understand that he bears the responsibility for walking off the tour. But I also know that there is so much about this that I don’t know (and that no one here knows – unless they’re keeping it secret) that there is plenty of room for me to suspect that there are reasons why he has not come right out and said what is going on and why he’s not touring and (for God’s sake) why he hasn’t announced the winner of the contest.

It’s not some school-girl fantasy wherein I believe Richie is some poor misunderstood “cretin” who can’t take responsibility for his actions. I do believe, however, that there may be other factors at play, contractual obligations being one, which may limit what he can legally or advisedly do at the moment. It’s just common sense. If fans are upset that they dropped even as much as $2000 on tickets and travel, why can’t they see there would have to be something pretty important for Richie to leave THREE OR FOUR MILLION on the table (if the early estimates of his per show compensation were even close). And that’s just if they use their own measuring stick. It doesn’t take into account the work-ethic he and Jon both claimed everyone in the band has, the shit-storm of attitude he’s getting (and knew he would be getting before he took the hike) and his own self-respect.

What I don’t get is why people find it easier to believe that Richie’s had a frontal lobotomy or exchanged personalities with an alien than it is to believe that there is still something significant going on behind the scenes that would explain all this, if we only knew what it was.

(And yes, if anyone wants to bitch at me because I think you should have all the facts before you make a judgment, bring it on. It’s not only common courtesy and the way you would expect to be treated if the tables were turned, but it’s only common sense – if you have any interest whatsoever in reaching the right conclusion, that is. If you just want to bitch, then I guess it doesn’t really matter.)

In any story there are at least three sides: yours, mine, and the fly on the wall. The fly on the wall is the only one that really sees things for what they are. Unfortunately, none of us is the fly so until I hear his (the fly’s) side, I reserve judgment. And even then, I refuse to place blame. Blaming is the most useless waste of time in the universe, as far as I’m concerned. It changes nothing and serves no purpose other than to continually focus one’s attention on the negative.

There may well be some legitimate reason at the end of all this that we may or may not ever find out. I doubt it's all one person's fault, whether that person be Richie, Jon, or whoever... Life isn't that black and white. But Richie's the one who walked off the tour. I've always thought some of the Backstage Jon lovers were over the top (and well, they are), but some of the blindly gushing Richie fans on various social networks are also questioning my previous understandings of the word sickening.:rolleyes:

I'll always love Bon Jovi, I have a heart and dagger tattoo and no regrets, but it kind of saddens me how jaded and indifferent I've become.

Is it essay season in this thread???

You've pretty much spelled out exactly how I feel LeAnn, especially that last line. In fact, if you replace "heart and dagger" with smirk logo tattoo, it is me. Honestly, it just hit me earlier that Bon Jovi are playing 2 shows here next week, and I not only don't have tickets, I don't know if I even want to bother.

Yeah, well some things can't be explained in 140 characters.

Hmmmm.... ;)

I’ve been away from the forum several hours. No I didn’t mean to imply that Jon caused or was responsible for Richie’s alcoholism. I do think the role Richie assigned to himself in the band—the happy-go-lucky guy, glad-handling the reporters, industry people, fans, being at the beck and call of the Bon Jovi machine plus his self-described job of keeping the lead singer happy—meant that his own “self” was subordinated. Obviously life events such as his divorce, the death of his father, etc. put him in a crisis situation.

It could also be as simple as the fact that people can party hardy in their 20s and 30s but at some point there is a line between being a heavy drinker and having a problem drinking. Alcohol seems to take a more physical toll as one gets older. If in his 50s he is no longer abusing alcohol and is seeking to be true to himself personally and professionally, kudos to him--it is overdue. From his comments it is apparent that he considers himself part of Bon Jovi and that he wants to be back playing for the fans but there is an unresolved issue standing in the way.

Speaking of alcoholism...on another forum ages ago there was a discussion about whether or not Jon was an alcoholic given his years of drinking "one or two bottles of wine" every night. I don't care to start THAT discussion but I do have a question: We have all seen numerous clips of Richie wasted on and off stage, have there been similar clips of Jon wasted? I don't recall at the moment.

Spot on. I would imagine there should be some sort of statement coming given the American leg is starting. Not that it will enlighten us in any way

Solo show in Paris '98. Never heard it myself, but it was discussed at length some years ago on this board.