BREAKING! Bon Jovi Press Release: "The Circle Rocks!"
 

Straight from the main site:

BON JOVI proudly present "We Weren't Born To Follow", the surefire smash single from their upcoming, heralded, surefire smash album "The Circle." The album is, as promised, a return to the band's rocking roots.

"We wanted the single to show what the feel of this record is gonna be like," frontman Jon Bon Jovi said. "As I promised, this album is a riff rock record. I told our diehard fans to trust me, and they'll see I gave my word: the completely muffled, nonexistent riff throughout the song really rocks during the cut-and-paste chorus. I think it's the best song we've written since the last time I made that statement. "The charming, embarrassingly look-conscious frontman adds with a chuckle: "I think last time I said a song was the best we ever wrote was Lost Highway. And before that, Make A Memory. So we obviously have been going up this whole time."

Jon believes 'The Circle' has a unique message. "It's about perseverance, for both the world and us as a band," he adds while standing outside his multi-million dollar penthouse: "I wrote songs like We Weren't Born to Follow and Work for the Working Man to show that I know what the average man is going through. The night Richie and I wrote Working Man, I went through several wikipedia articles on the economy and crammed all the words I could find about it into one song. I am a genius."

"This is a big loud record," Guitarist/womanizer Richie Sambora agreed soberly. "I love the guitar work Shanks and I did here." He mentions his favorite moment in the album: the stunning guitar work on 'We Weren't Born to Follow'. "That was a moment of pure inspiration, man," he says.

"I thought by yelling 'guitar' right before the apparent solo, It would only make Richie's pinky solo even more amazing," Jon adds.

Bon Jovi is not concerned what critics and so-called "music fans" think of the album or their band. "Look, we put less than a year into this album," he says defensively. "I know it's good. It's as rocking as anything else on the American Charts, shouldn't that be enough?"

Both drummer Tico Torres and keyboardist David Bryan were contacted about the album; however, neither can recall taking part in the album's production. In fact, both seem to have been unaware a new album was coming out.

"Could have fooled me," drummer Tico Torres said while beating up some punk on the streets of New York. "Then again, we don't really do anything anymore."

Bassist/Mannequin Hugh McDonald, however, had stark comments about the album: "It sucks," he said flatly. "Jon doesn't give a shit anymore. If only people knew it was I who wrote Slippery, New jersey, Keep the Faith and These Days!"

More to come...

Fool.. Not funny

Its people like this that dont deserve to listen to music.. Your a joke.

Hmm, yes, expressing my dislike of this band's latest dismal outing therefore means I'm a fool (fool? are you a supervillain by any chance??) and that I don't deserve to listen to music.. at all. Sounds logical to me.

Your making a joke (which wasnt even funny)
Out of a music bands hard work.. I find it sad.

Go listen to your dog blah .

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Epic fail.

Brilliant.

good style :)

Thanks folks.


OMG LOL I USED FAIL AS AN INTERJECTION LOL I AM SO CLEVER :-D

My favorite part was "Guitarist/Womanizer" LOL

Not only that u r totally cr8zy 4 not liking dis. It's pure rock and CLASSIC Bon Jovi. I <3 this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!




(I need a spanking) :p :rolleyes:

Well it's somewhat true isn't it?

Yeah, it's true. It's a clever way to describe Richie in an official press release :)

Aloha !

I volunteer.

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan

LOL I actually like the single (for now at least) but that was hilarious, I'm still giggling.

Love it.

Ice

I loved the "agreed soberly" line. Brilliant.

I thought by yelling 'guitar' right before the apparent solo, It would only make Richie's pinky solo even more amazing," Jon adds.

Just hope that the solo changes for the final version

lol i thought it was real...Funny stuff

Lolz!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, really funny :lol:

Loved the bit about Dave and Tico being unaware of the album's release :-D

Ain't that the truth.

That's the fanbase that deserves the lyrics and same old tired chord changes it gets.

Also, nice work.

Until I got up to the part with Tico, I believed it hahaha.

Who? What fanbase? Bon Jovi's fanbase? Who? carson? carson & liljovi93? What?

Carson is part of the fanbase, and seriously, no disrespect, but people acting the way he / she did are probably easily pleased.

So - both.

Such a great press release. See, for a few lines, I thought it was real :D
I loved it.

I really did think it was real until the Tico part until I was like WTF? and then I reeled back and paid attention to the parts about Working Man and 'I am a genius' etc

Still laughing at it, loved it!

**** off, you miserable blind follower :lol::lol::lol::lol:

This was a brilliant thread.

Theres no need to cry now fella just ignore my post and move on and **** off to you too

What a shitheap of a comeback.

Aloha !

Shut it Paulieboy and go high fiving yourself for your wank replies.
http://www.bonjovi-archives.com/highfive.gif

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan

I don't get the part where I was mentioned? :\

Y'know how everyone thinks all the post-2000 material is crap?

Well, whoever mentioned you and Carson, was saying that if you were stupid enough (not my words) to believe it then you deserve to be getting all this crap post-2000 stuff.

But if you like the post-2000 stuff then I guess it's not really an insult at all.

I hope this helps with your quest for peace and believe, little one.

i loved the thread...laughd out loud....waiting for the next thread from you..lol....

to that one paul dude cringing,
chillax....we r all die hard fans here..a lil fun wont kill us...

metallica fans could take a cue from this n start similar threads about the load.reload albums...ofcourse doing the same about st.anger wont even be funny...

Priceless..had a good old giggle while reading it all

You really need to learn that as a newcomer on here, there are a lot of piss takes.......Lighten up man, we're all fans, a good laugh is always needed and well this one, had me LMAO thanks for the giggle

C x

This is great, thanks for putting this together :D

Love the wikipedia and Hugh parts ....