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nickolai 01-09-2013 12:03 AM


Originally Posted by crashed (Post 1100032)
You did read this right? it's not and never was a real review.

How and why? Seems pretty accurate to me.

DryCounty 01-09-2013 12:08 AM


Originally Posted by nickolai (Post 1100034)
How and why? Seems pretty accurate to me.

crashed 01-09-2013 12:10 AM

Uhm, well, cause this is his real one?


Originally Posted by Supersonic (Post 955667)
1. We Werenít Born To Follow
The first time a lead single didnít maky any impression whatsoever. Not on the charts, not on the average radio listener and not on the die hards. Itís got 5 guitars in it I think and it obviously steals a part of Born To Be My Babyís chorus. The lyrics are alright but those yeah, yeah yeahís are so obviously written in the song to get a crowd going that itís appalling. I think this is the first time that one of Bon Joviís ďyeahísĒ donít work. It feels crafted instead of spontaneous or exciting, and itís one of them typical songs that an American crowd might love. Pumping their fists to the yeah part because itís really all they recognize about the song. The songtitle might be aimed at people in America who do their own thing despite the crisis and such but itís just as hypocritical as Michael Jackson releasing a song on natural beauty or Amy Winehouse on sobriety, as thereís one thing Bon Jovi have done the past 10 years and thatís following other people instead of doing their own thing. The guitar solo in the song is odd, as soon as it kicks in you can hear itís coming from another session, thereís even some hiss in the recording so cheers John Shanks for ****ing that one up. Or was it Obie? When the song ends thereís just Jon doing some ďyeah yeahís and we werenít boooohooorn to faaaallowĒ stuff. Why not do some great ad libs instead of just repeating what youíve sung the previous 3 minutes? 6/10

When We Were Beautiful
2. Now this could be a great song, but the lyrics are shit and Iíve got no idea what the song is about. According to Jon itís about the crisis and how he thinks back on when America was beautiful, or when the world was beautiful (Jonís got to aim it at as many people as possible, remember) but Iím not making that up on the lyrics. It makes no sense, the lyrics are shit. The shalalala heyís make me think of Timon and Pumba making their way through the jungle and this is a song thatís going to tank in a live environment. The guitar solo is alright, but far from being spectacular, it lacks a climax and even I can do better. A reason why the lyrics are shit is because they keep going back to the ďlive/die, blessed/cursedĒ stuff which really is a bit silly. Itís like ďIíll put some opposites there, sing it in a weird way and it might sound very deepĒ. Whatís next, am I sober, am I drunk? Your mom has dumps like a truck?Ē I get the intention of creating something different than the usual Bon Jovi song but it really needs more work. It feels like a demo, or a song they felt was too good to be left off, but itís too bad to put it on a Bon Jovi album. Why is there no scream after the guitar solo? After the guitar solo itís more of the same and Jon sings the words so slowly that it really bored me to death. I give it a pass because they tried something different here but thatís it really. 6/10

3. Work For The Working Man
Borrowing the riff from Liviní On A Prayer ďbecause there was the same situation in the eightiesĒ is shit. Also, wasnít it better in the eighties, because thatís when they were still beautiful? The vocals in this song are terrible, and this is becoming the first Bon Jovi album on which they couldnít hide Jonís shit voice. He puts up a fake rasp, sings thru his nose if he needs to hold a note (meeeyaaahaan, wrkng meeeeyaahn). This is another song that would I be playing in a band Iíd rock the **** out of it because itís got something that couldíve made this a real stomper live. Once again though the lyrics fall back in ďlive/dieĒ and that guitar ďsoloĒ is coming out of nowhere. This is the third song where it doesnít feel like the guitar solo is part of the song. Itís mixed on top of the rest of the song, and isnít part of the song at all. When Jon sings ďcanít you hear me?Ē you expect him to actually give you something that makes you hear him, like a scream for example, but instead thereís nothing, so thereís obviously a reason why we canít hear him. The end of the song is rubbish, ďthese were my streetsĒ sings Jon, but instead of thinking of the working man he sings about you think about Jon and the entire O2 debacle and how he hasnít experienced life in the streets he sings about for over 10 years now. This song couldíve been so much, much better. Iíve ripped through this song on my acoustic harder than the band performs this song on the album. Just speeding it up a bit makes it better. And another vocalist, obviously. 7/10

4. Superman Tonight
Right, so this is the song everyone is raving about. I ****ing detest it, canít stand it. As soon as the chorus kicks in it sounds like the outro of Have A Nice Day. The lyrics save the song a bit and I think this is the first time that lyrics actually save a Bon Jovi song. The vocals are shit (ďkžžžžssĒ) and I just donít understand why people like this song. Aerosmithís Jaded and Girls Of Summer have the same sort of drum pattern with his uneven feeling, but as soon as the chorus kicks in it gets lose. This song doesnít. Youíre waiting for it to go off but it never does. And where is that rubbish guitar solo coming from? Richieís guitar sound on this album is awful, itís time he throws away the ESPís and all the effects he uses and gets back to a clear tone. 4/10

5. Bullet
What a terrible intro this song has. This song deserves a riff like Homebound Train or even One Wild Night has, but no, instead they do some more powerchords and some bass drums, and obviously a talkbox again. Itís like what has become their signature sound ever since Itís My Life has been released. Singing about an SUV is not exactly coming off as a clever lyricist, whatís next, MPV? The vocals are average at best and this song is not going to work in a live environment. The production on the album version is a mess, thereís noise coming from everywhere and if the band intends to play this live theyíll have to include 3 more Bobbyís just to re-capture that wall of sound they have going on in this song. I dislike the guitar solo as well, itís just following the melody followed by a lick that was used in the guitar solo of Have A Nice Day (and was actually the reason why the guitar solo for HAND was decent). If the guitar solo wouldíve been great itíd have been nice to get the organ there but now it doesnít deliver and never kicks off properly as well due to Jonís shit vocals. The crowd will drown out Jon during the chorus just by chatting themselves through the song because of itís low register. Still, the song is alright and it in a way is the 00ís Hey God. Hey God however is miles better though. 7/10

6. Thorn In My Side
This sounds promising, but this sounds exactly like the sort of song Gotthard (popular and very good Swiss rock band) would do. Anyone who listens to Gotthard will probably agree, itís typicly them. Jon however sounds like heís having dinner while singing the first 2 verses. It sounds like a second hand Neurotica and is the Complicated of the album. ďKicked around, pushed aroundĒ all sung as if heís taking a crap, again with a fake rasp and sung thru his nose it easily makes it on the list of most terrible vocals on a Bon Jovi song. The rhythm of the song is alright, first proper uptempo song but itís missing lyrics like songs like Just Older and, yes, even Story Of My Life have. Itís as if theyíve forgotten how to write lyrics that people can remember and sing along to. Thereís nothing in this song thatíll make people remember it so they can sing along with the band when itís played live. The guitar solo is mixed a bit better (Thatís a first on this album, so far) but itís an average guitar solo at best. Jon says that Richie is everywhere on this album, which he really is, but nothing is worth writing home about. 6/10

7. Live Before You Die
Yeah, itís like opening another box of clichťís and putting them all in this song. It might be about Richieís dad and the intention might be good but this song is a snoozefest. Itís the Joey, Wildflower of this album and is Jon the wannabe Bob Dylan writing another storytelling song. If weíre ďluckyĒ this might be the song that Jonís going to shove down our throats because he can do some acting in the song as well and all that garbage. 4/10

crashed 01-09-2013 12:12 AM

And here's the rest


Originally Posted by Supersonic (Post 955669)
8. Brokenpromiseland
Imagine that, imagine that, shouldíve done that differently. But this is the first proper song on the album, the one on the band really works and where it finally sounds like theyíve got something to say. If theyíre going to do this live itíll be my favourite of the album I think, which leads me to believe that itís going to be done 3 times this tour. The best songs are always played the least. Whatís also becoming obvious is that all the background vocals are done in a lower register than normally so that it sounds as if Jonís really pushing himself, but heís not. The guitar solo once again is coming out of nowhere and it has no proper build up, and it really is shit. But I like this song, but thereís no energy at all, mostly due to Jonís vocals. 7/10

9. Loveís The Only Rule
This intro is pure garbage, it reminded me of McCartneyís Temporary Secretary which is never, ever a good thing (go youtube it for all I care). It already sounds dated. Apart from that the song is alright but once again a terrible guitar solo. If thereíll ever be an instrumental version leaked of this album Iíll have a blast making my own version with my own guitar soloís, hell Iíd let Iceman guest on it, Iím sure he can do better than whatís on this album as well. As average Jonís vocals are on this album as average Richieís doing the guitar soloís.7/10

10. You lot hate this song but I think itís a bit better than whatís on the first half of the album. The chorus is obviously rubbish and I didnít need the shalalalaís because Jonís going to try to make us sing that stuff, which means itíll be played live, which means itís another one of Jonís live fests. 6/10

11. Another one of those songs with one of those awful drum patterns like in Superman Tonight. This is not going to work live, and yeah, knees, pleas, here we go again. I just noticed that my song by song descriptions are getting shorter and shorter, mostly because Iím losing all excitement listening to this album right now. It just really bores me to death. 4/10

12. Learn To Love.
Whatever. Jon runs for the truth which is clearly true or heíd address some issues many people/fans have with this band. Halle HalleÖBerry? If sheíd show up thereíd be something good but this is the third time Iím listening to the album right now and sheís not here yet so there. 4/10

So there it is, this is how I rate The Circle. Itís not very high and Iím not even sure if itís my favourite of this decade. Itís a Bon Jovi album, but it doesnít feel like a Bon Jovi album at all, it never gains momentum, thereís never a moment on the album that makes you think ďYeah, I love this!Ē, while every single studio album before (apart from TLFR)had one of those moments. Thereís Just Older, thereís Bounce, thereís Have A Nice Day, thereís Any Other Day, but thereís no moment on this album that gives me that feeling of making any song an instant success. I heard this album in the train on my way home and expected the waiting to be a real pay off, but it wasnít anything like that this time. After 3 songs I found myself wondering when thereíd finally be a good song Iíd love, and having only one other CD with me (the last one from Mark Knopfler) I actually hoped itíd be finished soon so I could give that one another spin. And really, Knopfler isnít one of the most exciting artists now is he? However, his album breathes. Thereís depth in the music, you can hear every instrument, you can feel the songs and even though heís a very limited vocalist when Knopfler sings you know that he means it. You never get that feeling from Jonís vocals on this album. Heís never pushed himself and although I am a limited vocalist myself I could sing every song right away without even trying. Thereís nothing on this album that excites me, it mostly sounds like demoís for the Bounce record, an album where they issued some of the things on this album as well. When I gave Have A Nice Day (the song) a 7 it was a solid 7. Where I give the songs on this album a 7 itís merely because I think a 6 is a little too low. Yes, this album rocks harder than previous efforts, but the rock songs on previous efforts are miles better than any rock songs on this album and I never thought Iíd say this but I think that a song like Story Of My Life is better than anything on this album.

Shanks really is responsible for a lot of this. The guy is absolutely clueless and itís obvious that he doesnít know how to handle 3 guitars at once, so he makes a complete mess of it. Everything needs to be loud, but it just doesnít work like that. Had Bon Jovi used a producer like Brendan O Brien (recent AC/DC, Springsteen, Libertad from Velvet Revolver) this album wouldíve sounded miles different, but no, sales go before art and they needed a pop producer. Who, as it turns out, is absolutely clueless.

Many songs of the album are also not going to work in a live environment. Itís either way too overproduced so that when itís played live theyíll find empty holes in the songs that were filled up with guitar sounds on the album, or the vocals are to low that theyíll be drowned out by whatever the audience is doing at the moment a new song is played. The reason why the snippets for the album sounded so great was because they showed a side from Bon Jovi that had rarely been showed lately and you expected the snippets to turn out into something more. It never does though.

Jon also is a big con this album, the vocals are terrible, itís either thru his nose or thru his ass but the times when he sings with his natural voice can be counted on one hand. A large part of the energy from Bon Jovi songs came from the way Jon delivered. Jon never delivers on this album. Never.
A large part of why fans look up to their idols is because the idols have qualities they themselves donít have. I donít feel any of that on this album. I donít sound like Jon but can deliver a better vocal on most songs and I donít sound like Richie but can play better guitar soloís than what Richie does on this album. And Iím not saying that because I think Iím such a great singer or guitar player, but mostly because they deliver below par. Iím sure my review will be ripped apart by newbies for saying this ďbecause fans are not able to be better than their beloved Bon JoviĒ but it is what it is. I reckon many idiots will also post the regular "go on listen to [insert band here] then!" to which I'll just reply "Go on, read the raving reviews on backstage, then!".

Normally the bonus tracks for an album often save my final ratings (These Open Arms, Walk Like A Man, Neurotica) but there arenít any of this at all, so this really will be my final ratings. I thought this album might be a grower but I gave it a few listens and never, ever did I wanted to hear the album another time.

In the past 4 years Iíve discovered many, many other bands, from indie to eighties rock, but what surprised me most is that a lot of indie bands from the past few years have started to rock harder on their albums than this band, who really were the pioneers of the eighties rock genre and one of the bggest rock bands of the nineties based upon 2 albums. This past decade Bon Jovi have released 5 studio albums yet none of them ever gave them that status, so I really get the impression that as a studio act Bon Jovi are pretty much done. Even when they try to be a rock band like on this album they fail compared to many other releases done by other bands. Rock should be fun, rock should be felt, and the album is never fun, hence the reason why my review lacks the humor I normally put in my reviews. And although I get that some of those bands are not in the same genre as Bon Jovi are (Velvet Revolver arerock, Bon Jovi are pop/rock), Bon Jovi do claim to be in that genre, so if you want to be seen as a rock band youíll be judged as one as well. And when doing that, I canít give the album more than this;

Rating on the Supersonicís all mattering Bon Jovi review index:
***** The ****ing bollocks!!!
**** Top album.
*** Yeah, well that was alright...
** Piss poor performance. Nnngg!!!
* Jon you cunt I hope you go bald within 1 day!.

Final rating; 5,7/10

Salaam Aleikum,

crashed 01-09-2013 12:15 AM


Originally Posted by nickolai (Post 1100034)
How and why? Seems pretty accurate to me.

Please don't tell me you actually believe Seb gets his hands on stuff before their released?

ticos_stick 01-09-2013 12:20 AM

Oh dear.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear...

nickolai 01-09-2013 12:23 AM


Originally Posted by crashed (Post 1100039)
Please don't tell me you actually believe Seb gets his hands on stuff before their released?

Of course i do! I cant wait for his review of the new album...i wonder what format will arrive on his front door. Reel to reel? ADAT? 16"? mini-disk??!!

Wrath Mania 01-09-2013 12:40 AM

Wow Nichilolz, you're obsessing so much to prove Bon Jovi doesn't suck ass that you're citing fake reviews from 4 years ago. Hilarious. Keep the train wreck coming.

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