i guess in the same way kinda that other songwriting partnerships work.... just slightly more convoluted...
its the first time ive done it this way.. but for me i hear the song as i write it- hense it fits to my tune, but when i was parsing lyrics etc, i look for things like the meter (be it iambic quatramic or pentamic) and see if whts therefits into it,and other things like that... the kinda thing you learn from grade 7 music theory :S

You want to know how to live
The future's so far away
I've got these words for you
Try to live in today
Win Or Lose
It doesn't matter
Right here right now
Not what comes after

What do you guys think?

Adrian

It look promising but something missing in this, i don't no what .

is this for another verse???
can someone post the song in its entirety up here please so i can look and see whats going on with it??
wither that or pm it to me.. ill have a look in the mornig.. long day knackered going to bed...

sara

You want to know how to live
The future's so far away
I've got these words for you
Try to live in today
Win Or Lose
It doesn't matter
Right here right now
Not what comes after

(chorus)

You can hope You can pray
But all good things have to change
It doesn't matter if you Win Or Lose
Its how you play the game
All you try and all you say
It doesn't matter what you do (stretched out)
Its how you play the game...

Not if you Win Or Lose

Well folks, there it is, the first verse and chorus of Win Or Lose. Allmike:What do you think its missing?

Adrian

This song has a potential to be a great song . I think you need to add little bit to more line to it.

i like it Adrian

Thanks Jess and Allmike! The song is far from finished (tawtami, where are you?) and I'm having some problems writing verses for it. The chorus is in second or third person, and my natural instinct is to write the verses in first, so its a little harder than usual. Walrus, got any comments?

Adrian

i am here... just mildly distracted at the moment...
its late now and i need to get to bed so ill have a look in the mornign...
but ill have a play as i have some free time...

how do you envisage melody? jyst so i can like have a mental pic...
sara

Adrian, I think that you need to get over your thing of using the title in the verses and the chorus- don't use Win Or Lose in the first verse as well as the chorus. The chorus is much better now, although I'm thinking that there's nothing all that special about it.... the first verse needs a bit of work. I also think that this song has great potential, do me proud guys!

Also Adrian, I've come up for a really interesting idea for a project that I want to work on with you, and I'll give you the details as soon as I fine tune it a little.... but it will be very cool 8)

Keep On Rockin'