Well, that's the choruses. Any comments? I'm mulling over some new verses in my head as I type this.

Adrian

Got 2 new verses:

Now that I'm here all alone
I'm discovering their lies
Like my broken heart will heal with time (beginning of second verse)

Don't know who I'm fighting for
What's real or my memories of you
I don't even know if we can work
But this I promise you (cue second chorus)

What do you guys think?

Adrian

Back
One word
A million emotions
I can still remember the first time

Last time you said it I denied
Now I wish I hadn't lied
I ran away from you

But I came Back

That night
You thought you could speak for me
You told me I loved you
I laughed and said no
How could I see the truth

Naked on the bed you lie
I've seen your heart
From the inside
Its a nice place to visit
But to stay there
And lose being free
I knew it wasn't
For me

Thats what I thought

Last time you said it I denied
Now I wish I hadn't lied
But even though I never knew
I came back for you

But nothing changed
That I could see
You were still you
I was still me
Still just two halfs
Of a seperate whole
A one sided dance
Without a soul
Or thats the way
It seemed to me
Just a discarded memory
How could I know
That deep inside
My heart and love
Just couldn't hide?

After all
I came back for you


Bloody hell, thats long.... Right, thats my idea for the first half, what do you think? Feel free to dissect it, its very different from the way I'd normally write, so I'm not wholly confident in it, but there ya go... Comment, criticise, its all good :)

Keep On Rockin'

How DO you do it? This is great! You just outwrote Jim Steinman, you know that, don't you? One thing though:I don't like the line "Naked on the bed you lie". That just seems...I don't know...too...something. I'm sorry, I don't like it. I think its a little too adult, if you know what I mean. Could you change that one line? Thanks! I'm gonna take a crack at putting together the second part today.

Again, this is great work Walrus!

Adrian

Now that I'm here all alone
I'm discovering their lies
Like my broken heart will heal with time

I see you all the time
But the barrier is still there
A simple hello can make my day
I don't know if we could would we say more
Or if we wouldn't dare

I can't know what you're feeling now
Sadness regret
A little of both
Do you feel like me
Or are you feeling hope

We're both looking forward
To the day when we can be together
Its coming, but not real soon
It'll take some time
But they can't hold me back forever
Someday this could all be through

I've got all these memories
Things we've done
Things you said
For all we are right now
Whatever we were
May as well be dead

It all brings me around
To that night I threw it all away
I could've said yes
Just one word
Who knows where we'd be today

I think I'm makin' myself sick
Remembering how I lied
I stumbled on my words
They just couldn't come out
So I just go on the way I am
Can't even say I tried
This is kinda starting to hurt
I'm starting to doubt
How I ever could've thought of you

Don't know who I'm fighting for
What's real or all these memories of you
I don't even know if we can work
But this I promise you

Chorusx6

Last time you said it I denied
Now its the truth and not a lie
I'm coming back for you
For all the people I've left behind
I won't let go this time
I'm coming back for you

Walrus:You want to add anything to that? Do you think I should? I added a whole bunch of new stuff to what we had.

Adrian

just to let you know im still alive...


looking at the stuff thats been added since.. its looking good...
had a tune to heartbreak town as soon as i read it... hoefully ill remember it.

finding life really hard atm.

have got reading weeks coming up and all my dedlines are before it meaning i have two weeks completely free which im gonna set aside to recording some of this stuff if noone has any objections.

hope you're all okay.
sorry for letting the side down.
sara

Welcome back Sara
I'm really glad u come back, hope fully u record the songs as soon as u get time. we are looking forward for it. But don't ingonr ur studies for it. Do it when u have free time. :P

hey allmike.. its not a question of ignoring studies to do it... i get 4 and a half days off a week. my reading weeks just mean i dont have to go into my lectures as theyre meant to be used to write essays and stuff... xept my deadlines are all before so i get 2 weeks off instead.

but yeah. ill give it a go soonish.

Ok so when record post here, so we can listen it.

Any one got any modification or next phase for Heartbreak Town?.
I will try to put with in couple of day, my second phase for it.