Things that SOUND dirty...but really arent
 

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE, AREN'T:

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
1. It's not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!



TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM AREN'T:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
1. Think you can get me off?



TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY BUT IN GOLF AREN'T:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk .
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be
desired.
1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first.Get more from the Web

I've just copied that and sent it to my friends :wink: thanks

like this one :o

Blimey i need to wash my balls :lol:

Hehehe..I bet he did. :shock: :lol:

Kev


U disgust me!!!!!!!!

All the golfing ones are the best! :lol: :lol:

thanks kev hon. :lol:

Another golf one:

On the tee: "I think I'll use the big stick for this one". :D


I was playing football at weekend and at the team talk before the game the coach said:

"It's not the best of pitches. It's uneven, and there are a few undulations."

Also on my way home the other night my dad rang and asked me to stop at the convenience store to buy a carrot to grate up and put in his soup, and some larger. The lady behind the counter said:

"So it'll be £2.99 plus 23p for your carrot."

lol :lol:

Thanks Kev! These are great!

Stephanie