Does councilling work?
 

my best friend whom ive known for over 11 yrs maybe going to one :(:( i was talking to his dad and they said they wanna put him in there...but i relaly dont want that, i feel i could do so much mor, rather then him talking to some stranger.. i dunno guess im just being defensive of him...

Sometimes a counsellor can be better, sometimes it is easier to talk to an objective person, rather than to a close friend. I think counselling is a good thing, providing you are open to it.

I hope it all works out for your friend.

Tash

thats wot his dad said...but i should be able to help him, it truely upsets me that i cant... thanks for yr support

You can help, just by being there for him and supporting him with what he is going through. Sometimes problems are just too complex and people need someone who is a professional. It doesn't mean that you have failed in any way whatsoever. I went through something similar over the summer. A friend of mine was in a rough place and because I tried my hardest to help I got sucked into her problems and in the end was more of a hinderence than a help. She is in therapy now and I needed to be let off the hook so to speak. I find that now I can be a better friend and support her more by having that kind of distance. Jag, you are not failing, but you can't be everyone's saviour. Sometimes it is better to leave it to someone who does this for a living and is not emotionally involved like you are at the moment. Just be there, that's enough. Honestly.

Tash

that really upsets me cos i so try to be...i seem to be easily able to help ppl whom im not so great freinds with....but when it comes down to ppl i love i just cant get that bend...wots hurts more is that he is so positve and happy....and to see him in such a state is...nothing short of shocking...his fmaily sent him off to cyprus for about a week to stay with his aunt and 'get away'....sigh....but wot hurts most if how ppl around me seem to be dieng on me.

I was at that place,still am so to speak.
My girlfriend is going to one and she recommends me going to one to because of so many things that are going on in my life that she says I need help from a proffesional.Personally I dont believe in that,I'm not going to tell my life's story to a stranger who listens to me for an hour because he/she is going to get overpaid for just listening.I feel like i could help her more but in the end it's her decision and the one her parent's want, and if she decided to go then I will support her through it.that's what you should do,then I'll guerantee you that in the end your friend will wake up and realize that you have helped him more than that counselor by being ther for him no matter what.
best of luck man.
and remember a counselor gets paid but a friend is worth much much more.

exactly....and even tho loads of councillers are genuine im just way to defensive and im gonna help him, ive been there for him for 11 yrs, and i see no reason why i cant be there for him now..

Going into therapy isn't a bad thing, he's going through a tough time and needs help. Help that you at this moment can't give. That isn't that you are doing something wrong. You can help other people because you are not emotionally attached to them. You are too close to your friend, you love the person and know him before all of this, all you want is to have that back, but that is his path to travel and unfortunately you cannot help him with that. He will get back, with the right care, honestly. In the meantime all you can do is sit tight and be supportive. Although that doesn't seem like your helping it is. It is so difficult to be messed up in your mind, that you can't find a way out, just to know that the people around you love you and are there if you need them is enough. Sometimes we all have problems that our friends can't deal with. There is no shame in that, thank God for psychologists who can help and help us to see the light when it seems dark. You are in his heart and in his soul, he will get through. I know you feel helpless at the moment, but this might be for the best. Look after yourself so you can be stronger for him. He does not need to see you cracking at the moment and knowing that that is because of his problems. Be strong for him and that is the best you can do at the moment.

Sorry if that was a bit babbly.. hope you get my drift...

Tash

jbj"]Going into therapy isn't a bad thing, he's going through a tough time and needs help. Help that you at this moment can't give. That isn't that you are doing something wrong. You can help other people because you are not emotionally attached to them. You are too close to your friend, you love the person and know him before all of this, all you want is to have that back, but that is his path to travel and unfortunately you cannot help him with that. He will get back, with the right care, honestly. In the meantime all you can do is sit tight and be supportive. Although that doesn't seem like your helping it is. It is so difficult to be messed up in your mind, that you can't find a way out, just to know that the people around you love you and are there if you need them is enough. Sometimes we all have problems that our friends can't deal with. There is no shame in that, thank God for psychologists who can help and help us to see the light when it seems dark. You are in his heart and in his soul, he will get through. I know you feel helpless at the moment, but this might be for the best. Look after yourself so you can be stronger for him. He does not need to see you cracking at the moment and knowing that that is because of his problems. Be strong for him and that is the best you can do at the moment.

Sorry if that was a bit babbly.. hope you get my drift...

Tash[/quote]

thank u for yr words....my wife was syaing something similar 'dont be a wishy washy when u see him'....yeah hopeless is exaclty how i feel...and i know its gonna be a slow process...ill only truely know how bad things are when he gets back...its just so upsetting...i lost someone whom i admired so much a few weeks ago, my wife has leukimia and now my freind has truned to a depressive zombie.... :cry: :cry: :cry:

Not to sound like a cliche but that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. That is so true. A friend of mine was murdered this year and it went downhill from there. However, just when you think you can't take anymore you do bounce back. These are tests in a way, to test how we react to adversary, you will find your strength, honestly. I know at the moment it seems hard, but you will get there. Everything that happens is a life lesson, you will know sooner or later what you need to learn. Just stand tall and don't give up hope!

Tash