I have no idea really and actually have been trying to figure that out myself.

There has never been a person in my life that I particularly looked up to or that I felt influenced by. Well, at least not real people. Certainly, there are historic figures I have admiration and respect for, but they couldn't influence me as our lives never collided.

All of my desires/hopes/ambitions (constructive and destructive) have always come out of myself - a deeply hidden well of 'the force' (lol) it seems. Perhaps it's an anti-fight that kept me on course. I hated my childhood soooooo much that the incapacitating fear of being in the same position ever again, kept me moving along even though everything in life was trying to hold me back.

Long story, short answer: my greatest influence in life is my grave fear of being someone or being in a position I have not the least bit of respect for.


Hate and fear are more powerful than love ..... don't you think?

back on track in order of actual questions (;)):

bonji1968: Yes, and I will never put myself in a position again where someone could hurt me like that. Unfortunately, my unwillingness to open up emotionally stifles the success rate of any relationships I might find myself in. Generally, I just get bored in relationships and head for the door - well before my partner realizes something's up. Hence, I've got a long list of ex-lovers who hate my guts. Better than getting hurt though :)



Do you think trust can be learned?

Yes. We start out with trust as babies (after all, we don't have anyone or anything else to trust on besides our mom and dad for feeding, clothing and changing diapers) and I think we learn how not to trust by bad experiences. In that same way, we can also learn how to trust again.

Very few people are trustworthy though, don't you think?

Extremely!!!!

Can you believe it is already mid-July again???!!!???!!!

Yeah i know it flies by .




Do you ever invent things?

No.

Could you live without the internet?

I'm sure I could, I just hope I wouldn't have to!! Once you get used to it, it is actually quite an interesting and handy medium!

What do you think happens when you die?

i think your "spirit" as it were goes somewhere . not sure , i dont beleive in heaven or anything like that but well lets say i'm sure you dont just go . i know something happens.


have you ever nearly died? as in having your heart restarted?

No!! (Touch wood) never been in hospital.

Favourite month?

August perhaps, it is summer, everyone goes on holiday, work is very quiet, and so on.

Have you ever made a drastic decision?

yes




are you good at getting dents out of metal?

No.. but then I've never tried

Can you eat with chopsticks?

Haven't tried, it looks a bit silly


What is the weather like where you are?

nice and hot just the way i like it :)



have you read hannibal?

Yes, but some years ago.


Have you read the Da Vinci code??

Only the first page or so. It's on my list, but I don't seem to find time....


Do you get the things done you want to do?

No :S

Are you also lazy?

Yes I am lazy... but I prefer to call it patience :)

Did you miss some hours of sleep last night?


Ponrauil

One or two, as usual.

Are you more of a day person or a night person?

I used to be much more of a day person, but lately I've turned into a night owl. Tough as I don't get the beauty sleep I so desperatley need :(


how many hours sleep do you need?

about 6 but dont get it




Ever put something down but cant remember where you left it?

yeh all the time with guitar plecs

ever taken drugs?

the politically correct term is 'experimented with drugs' ;)

Yes.


Is alcohol worse than drugs?

Edit opps psoted same time answer is NO



Do you know how to remember where you left things??

Usually yes. But it is mostly via a visual - ie. I'll remember having seen the leash among other things in a box, so I go in the garage and look through the boxes ;)


Good way to stay organized like this?

I don't know, I'm a total mess.


Do you hate it when someone moves your things in order to "organize" them better?

Yes but i try not let them do it :)



So shall i give up looking for this bolt then?

its in the kitchen

how often do you log onto this site?

No its not i've looked there
I come to this site everyday




What was the last book you read?

Much ado about nothing by Shakespeare- a classic, but I had to read it for an exam. I'm now reading (again) El amor en los tiempos del colera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, one of my favourites.


Do you like to read again a book if you really liked it the first time?

id read to kill a mocking bird again its cool

where do u think the bolt is???

In your ass.


How funny do you think you are?


Ponrauil

funnier than you

why do u think your a smart ass

Its always in the last place you look ;)

Because I compare myself to you. And yes, I've noticed you are funnier than me.

Who's funnier than you?


Ponrauil

no one maybe god not too sure???

are you gay or ever had a gay moment lol

No I'm not gay. Don't know what a psycho like you would call a gay moment either...


Do you suffer from any mental illness?


Ponrauil

Not that I have ever been diagnosed with one *swallows hard*


Do mental illnesses run in your family? :)

Well, actually, one might be... but it's too fresh news to tell, and nothing too serious either.
Everytime I'm on that topic I have this t-shirt in mind that reads "I used to be schizophrenic... but we're ok now." :)


Any one liner joke that you pull out too often?

Ponrauil

I don't do jokes and people who tell them annoy me. One liners too.



What innocent/unconscious gestures/habits of other people drive you up a wall?