Jovitalk - Bon Jovi Fan Community

On another musicians board I'm on some guys (in college no less :shock: ) put up a post going on about this girl he likes and what to do blah blah.

despite the idiocy of asking a place majorly populated by 15 year old guys who think poo jokes are funny about woman advice, the guy still thinks it's worth a shot. most of it's pretty pointless and people whinging about how they cant get a girl (see note about 15 year old ****wits) but one dudes stuck up a post that is actually pretty sound in my book.

I like to think I abide by some of these rules and despite what you think, it IS a game and you have to treat it like that ie play it. Don't abuse people but don't be a doormat or desperate to be "the nice guy" been there. done that, got nowhere. As soon as you stop being Mr I'll come and tell you about my boyfriend troubles and actually start acting aloof then they will for the most part come. Despite this good advice, the guy is still giving it, i dont like playing games and stuff so **** him if he's not goign to take good advice i'm sure someone else will and guess who's goin to end up with the girl round their arm....

Topic : Everybody with a girl, read please.
By : swingset, Senior Member
Date : April 05, 2002 02:44 AM

I notice there are a lot of young guys posting their relationship dilemmas and stories in here. That's good, as advice is always plentiful. But, there are some basic truths that all young men should know and live by, and I notice that a lot of guys don't seem to have a grip on how to conduct themselves in a relationship. As a married guy of some years (very happily), and someone who tasted all 31 flavors, let me give you my rules for dating or marrying women:

1. Respect a woman, treat her kind, but NEVER kiss her ass. She will hurt you, walk on you, and you WILL lose her.

2. Don't fall in love with love. If you crave the feeling and then attach it to a person, you do both yourselves a horrible disservice.

3. NEVER chase women. There is no need. Let me explain: A man sees women as a pack of gazelles on the savannah....and we are a hungry cheetah. We spy the most vulnerable gazelle that offers the least fight, then chase her. Women, however chase the leader of the gazelles - the one she can't catch, can't eat or run as fast as (This explains why when you're taken, they come out of the woodwork). So...make yourself a success, carefree and confident, and the women will forever hunt you, and you'll end up with the fastest cheetah - not the slow weak one.

4. Don't EVER disregard a woman lightly or use her. At the very least you'll be a womanizer, but you can wreck lives including your own. Even a slut has a mind and a history - nobody deserves to get crapped on. If you don't respect her, don't stick it to her.

5. Find out about a girl's family before you have sex with her - because if you're not extremely careful, and she comes from a chaotic background, you will get stuck in that family, or end up married to a woman who embodies chaos (and that is NOT good). A good rule of thumb is this: If she's wild, promiscuous or running in the wrong crowds, something's amiss on the home front. Sad, but true. Nature gives us warning signs, heed them.

6. On that note, NEVER try to "fix" a woman or repair the damage done by a bad background. It's nearly impossible, and it's also not your job. When she's figured out and helped herself, THEN and only then, is she ready for a relationship.

7. Don't rush into a relationship or marriage cause you're horny and can't "get enough" of someone. That's a fleeting thing, and you'll spend the rest of your time together trying to recapture it, or finding it with someone else. Base your relationship on the fact that you like each other.

8. All women, no matter what they tell you or you read in Hustler, need sex about 1/8 as much as you do. They do it for different reasons - mainly to feel sexy and worth something - and the physical drive isn't there (that's what testosterone does, and they're in short supply of it). A girl that craves sex too much is sporting a troubled background - bank on it.

9. If there's one thing all girls can sense, it's a "creepy" vibe. The surest, easiest way to stay single or sexless is to behave as if you will do anything to get laid. They read it like a neon sign, and it makes them feel nauseous. Be cool, be a man, and learn to not give a shit. It will make you seem about 173% more attractive.

10. Girls don't gravitate towards someone because they're rich or have a lot of toys (that's a myth). What they see in those guys is the "somebody" component. A guy who seems to have something going on, some sort of success or plan. When you become the guy who's doing something, you'll have the ladies interested. If you're a girl, the best way to "be somebody" is to be with "somebody". That's just nature.

11. Don't discuss your relationship details with your friends. Resist the temptation to tell your buddies how your girlfriend is in bed - good or bad. Don't paint an intimate picture of your wife or girlfriend to people you or she knows. It's pretty dumb, all the way around. And, NEVER bellyache to people that you're not happy with your girl (especially to women). If it sucks to be you, do something about it, but don't air your dirty laundry.

12. Be a good person to her family. Not a suckass, just a good person. They WANT to hate your guts (you're boning their baby), so be nice and respectful - least you can do for all those blowjobs you got.

13. Don't drive your girlfriend into someone's bed with your insecurities. If you worry about her straying, and give her grief, she will probably live up to your expectations and screw your friends (wouldn't you?).

14. Don't tell your girlfriend ANYTHING about your ex's, and don't let her do that to you. Nothing is worse than the mental imagery of a ghost who bangs your lover. Shut up and let there be some mystery.

15. Even if you think it's cool or funny, don't fart on your girlfriend, belch on her, be crass or stupid. Be a man, be cool and even if you're a goof around your buddies, show her that in love - you're a class act. She'll think that's the best thing since sliced bread.

16. Don't ever, no matter what ever happens, touch your girl in anger. If she's deserving, leave her or walk away.

17. Don't put yourself in a weak position when things aren't going good. If you're having troubles with your gal, and you "innocently" go out with a friend where a sympathetic girl will be - you're a fool, or begging to blow your relationship. Stay out of harms way - we're all human - and EVERYONE strays when they're weak or hurt, so don't play with the animals and you won't get bit.

18. Don't bring sexual weirdness into a relationship you hope to make last. Three-ways, kinky stuff, etc. NEVER fly with a steady thing. The kind of girl you will want for the rest of your life will not be the one you want to do some amateur scat porn with. Believe it, brother.

19. If you're not good at talking to women and communicating your feelings, buy a f**king book and learn how. You'll spend the next 50 years of your life in misery if you can't learn how to talk to women. It's not hard, just stop thinking about your boner and speak.

20. Finally, be a man. Every girl, from age 13 on, wants a MAN. She may date a boy, but she will GIVE IT UP to a man. A boy lets his pants hang down around his ass, goes pimping, plays in a metal band, tries too hard, gets goofy around girls, is shy, is weird and full of stupid-energy. (if any of this is you, take note). Don't be a boy - nobody wants a boy, and you'll spend the rest of your life looking back at your youth and cringing at the opportunities with women you blew. Trust me on this one.

Can't guarantee much, but follow these and you'll be at least as happy as I am, probably more - and I'm pretty happy.