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Javier 04-11-2005 11:47 PM

Suicide, Why??
 
Today I got a call from a friend of mine at about noon, we said hi for a brief 5 seconds and then he told me that a friend of ours had died this morning. He was found dead in his room with a rope around his neck. O just couldn't believe that he had commited suicide, I still haven't gotten over the shock, it still amazes me that a person as happy as he was could have killed himself.most of all I feel for his sister, mom dad and girlfriend who I know will miss him a lot more than any of us (his friends) will. It's really saddening when this happens, whatever the problem was I can this of at least 20 people of the top of my head that would have helped him through it, and yes I'm including myself. I will miss him terribly, but I can't help but feel a bit angry because he chose to do what he did having so many people around him that cared.
I'm just venting, since I'm home alone and with no one to talk to I figured lest just vent here.
death comes to us all, why rush it??
I don't understand how anybody would want to kill themselves, I have been depressed many times, and never have I thought of seriously killing myself, only dabbled with the thought of it.
I'm sorry and thank you to whoever is reading this.

spunkywho 04-11-2005 11:52 PM

Re: Suicide, Why??
 
sorry to hear about your friend, Javier.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Javier
it still amazes me that a person as happy as he was could have killed himself.

Obviously he wasn't very happy. Just because people 'seem' happy to people on the outside, doesn't mean they are.

Quote:

death comes to us all, why rush it??
cause living ain't all it's cracked up to be???

Kathleen 04-11-2005 11:58 PM

I guess none of us never knows how much is "too much to handle" for someone else. I feel much as you do - why rush it. However, I can understand someone who is incurably ill wanting to die sooner rather than later. Other than that, with some time and perspective - most problems don't look as bad as they did at first. Unfortunately, it's the people that are left behind to wonder "why" that will suffer the most. Especially someones family and friends. I guess all that you can do is try to learn something from this and move on.
I'm sorry for your loss :(

Kathleen

Javier 04-11-2005 11:58 PM

Quote:

Obviously he wasn't very happy. Just because people 'seem' happy to people on the outside, doesn't mean they are.
I know that but there are friends for that. That's why family's there, whenever I thoiught about killing myself back when I had a depression, I thought about how there are wrose people than me in the world who have ti fight for every crust of bread they eat.

Quote:

cause living ain't all it's cracked up to be???
yes it is.
It never promises to be perfect but it is worth living.

Right now I'm going through the phase of when I think about all the stuff that I could have said to him.and it makes me feel worse, imagine how his mom would be. :cry:

Supersonic 04-12-2005 12:04 AM

Re: Suicide, Why??
 
Aloha !

I'm sorry about your loss.

Before some people will start a discussion if suicide is selfish (I remember something like that some time ago) and all that stuff they should all realize that they can't judge something like that since they've never been there. No person can control his/her feelings, and this is no exeption.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Javier
but I can't help but feel a bit angry because he chose to do what he did having so many people around him that cared.

Someone who commits suicide doesn't see it this way. It's part of a depression and the way he/she feels and thinks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Javier
death comes to us all, why rush it??

Because life isn't offering you what you expect from it?

Salaam Aleikum,
Sebastiaan

spunkywho 04-12-2005 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Javier
Quote:

Obviously he wasn't very happy. Just because people 'seem' happy to people on the outside, doesn't mean they are.
I know that but there are friends for that. That's why family's there, whenever I thoiught about killing myself back when I had a depression, I thought about how there are wrose people than me in the world who have ti fight for every crust of bread they eat.

I assume you are using the term depression for yourself as a synonym of having the blues. Which is very much different from clinical depression. Friends and family cannot help a person that is clinically depressed. That is why none of the people left behind should feel guilty - cause they aren't. They've never been in a position to help in the first place. Only professionals can help, unfortunately a lot of clinically depressed people do not get the help they need. May it be because they are afraid to see a professional or maybe it is because they are made to believe that family and friends are 'enough'.

If you think about all that you could have/should have said, better do some research on clinical depression and try to understand the disease better, so you'll find that nothing you could have said would have mattered much. Plus, most importantly, you'll come to understand why people with clinical depression need professional help not family and friends.

I know you mean well when you say that, but to me it just keeps the cycle going by saying, that is what friends and family are for. Cause that is NOT what friends and family are for.

sorry for the rant, little pet peeve of mine.

Jovimimi 04-12-2005 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spunkywho
Quote:

Originally Posted by Javier
Quote:

Obviously he wasn't very happy. Just because people 'seem' happy to people on the outside, doesn't mean they are.
I know that but there are friends for that. That's why family's there, whenever I thoiught about killing myself back when I had a depression, I thought about how there are wrose people than me in the world who have ti fight for every crust of bread they eat.

I assume you are using the term depression for yourself as a synonym of having the blues. Which is very much different from clinical depression. Friends and family cannot help a person that is clinically depressed. That is why none of the people left behind should feel guilty - cause they aren't. They've never been in a position to help in the first place. Only professionals can help, unfortunately a lot of clinically depressed people do not get the help they need. May it be because they are afraid to see a professional or maybe it is because they are made to believe that family and friends are 'enough'.

If you think about all that you could have/should have said, better do some research on clinical depression and try to understand the disease better, so you'll find that nothing you could have said would have mattered much. Plus, most importantly, you'll come to understand why people with clinical depression need professional help not family and friends.

I know you mean well when you say that, but to me it just keeps the cycle going by saying, that is what friends and family are for. Cause that is NOT what friends and family are for.

sorry for the rant, little pet peeve of mine.

excellent post spunky .. OBVIOUSLY you know what you are talking about ....and I understand you can feel the frustration here .... having the blues is not depression



now maybe the person who commit suicide wasn't depressive we don't know some suicides are not done under depression but under other disorders ....this person was not feeling well enough to deal with life this is heartbreaking espcecially for the ones who stay with this death slapping their face everyday ... suicide is a terrible thing but it's not controlable neirther by the ppl around not even by the victim

allmike 04-12-2005 01:20 AM

I'm really sorry about what happend.... But not every people who look happy outside are really happy inside, they just put the happy mask outside to pretend the world they are happy really.... Its just the prefect example that what u see outside is not all real....

I do think most of the people do think about sucide at some point of time, some think more often then other and some just fasinated by sucide i guess... But why they take that extreem step is really hard to say or judge, it may look really silly reason to other but it may meant a lot to that person and its really doesnt matter whether other having bigger problem for them and its all about the moment u have to deal with it....

But i guess for clinical depressed people, there no reason needed at all to take this extreem step i guess.. So end of it, no one really know why it happend...

Captain Walrus 04-12-2005 01:37 AM

Yeah, some people find themselves totally unable to deal. Everyone deals with things in different ways, and obviosuly at times if you just ignore something for a bit, then a new way to deal with it may present itself to you. But if it doesn't, and it seems like there's no way out, then I don't know .... maybe it's also partly a reaction to a short term effect? A sort of spark? I don't know

Read Hamlet. Puts it in perspective

Becky 04-12-2005 01:47 AM

Sometimes depression is so bad you want death to relieve the pain. Some people have chemical imbalances that lead to compulsions to hurt themselves.

Becky


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