Temperature Extremes-Something to offend everyone
 

Temperature Extremes
+20° - Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them).
+15° - Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them).
+10° - Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers.
+5° - You can see your own breathing.
Italian cars don't start.
Norwegians take a bath.
Russians drive with lowered windows.
0° - Water freezes in America , in Russia it thickens.
-5° - French cars don't start.
-10° - You're planning a vacation to Australia .
-15° - Your cat insists to sleep in your bed. Norwegians put on sweaters.
-18° - New York landlords turn on the heaters.
Russians make their last seasonal picnic.
-20° - American cars don't start. People in Alaska start wearing long-sleeves.
-25° - German cars don't start. Hawaiians are dead.
-30° - Politicians start talking about homeless people.
Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas.
-35° - Too cold to think. Japanese cars don't start.
-40° - You're planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars don't start.
-42° - Transportation stops in Europe . Russians eat ice cream on the street.
-45° - All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something for the homeless.
-50° - Your eyelids start sticking when you blink.
In Alaska , people close the window in the bathroom.
-60° - White bears start moving south.
-70° - Hell froze.
-73° - Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland.
Russians wear earmuff hats.
-80° - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-114° - Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.
-273° - Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots.
-295° - 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes the world champion

Kathleen

Haha, pretty cool. Thanks for posting. I would imagine most of these are true :)

I'd intereject ranom lots of "English people moan that it's cold" :p

:lol: That was great, Kathleen!

This is the one I've seen for years:

Finnish Weather
+15°C
It doesn't get warmer than this in Finland, so we'll start here;
The Spanish put on caps, winter jackets and gloves.
The Finns work on their tans.
+10°C
The French try, in vain, to get the central heating started.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
+5°C
Italian cars refuse to start.
The Finns go cruising in cabriolets.
0°C
Distilled water freezes.
The water in the Vanda stream gets a bit thicker.
-5°C
People in California get cold damage.
The Finns are grilling the last hot dog before the winter.
-10°C
The English turn on the heat in their homes.
The Finns put on a sweater.
-20°C
The Australians flee Mallorca.
The Finns stop celebrating midsummer, autumn is here.
-30°C
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns hang their laundry to dry indoors.
-40°C
Paris cracks in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stand.
-50°C
The polar bears evacuate the north pole.
The Finnish army postpone their winter survival training in waiting for a
proper winter.
-60°C
Koarvatunturi freezes.
The Finns rent a video and stay indoors.
-70°C
The fake Santa Claus moves south.
The Finns get upset because it's impossible to make Kossu (Koskenkorva)
outdoors. The Finnish army start their winter survival course.
-183°C
The microbes in food doesn't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the milkers' hands feel a bit cold.
-273°C
ALL atom-based movement ceases.
The Finns tell each other "Perkele, it sure feels cold today".
-300°C
Hell freezes over.
The Finns win the Eurovision Song Contest.

Now that's good

I'll send it back to the guy who sent me the first one :mrgreen:

Kathleen

they're both good

Yeah, but I'm still not offended. Bah.

:mrgreen: Well I didn't want anyone to think I was picking on the Russians.

Kathleen

Was it THAT cold last year? :p