Sting the worst lyricist ever
 

wow. with all the criticism of jbj, i'm surprised he's not in the top ten!


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Sting the worst lyricist ever
Neil Hickey
October 16, 2007 02:00pm



STING might be wowing them in the reincarnation of 80s band The Police but the British rocker has been slammed for having the worst lyrics of all time.

Sting has beaten a host of other influential songwriters - including Jim Morrison, Paul McCartney, Jon Bon Jovi, Alanis Morissette and Robert Plant - for the ignominious title.

American music magazine Blender disembowelled Sting - infamous for the song De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da and for rhyming "cough" with Russian author Vladimir Nabakov - for his "mountainous pomposity, cloying spirituality and ham-handed metaphors".

"Once publications labelled him the 'Thinking Woman's Sex Symbol', a low-watt lightbulb popped on in his head, illuminating the way toward a self-serious future. Sting would go on to rip off Chaucer's 'Canterbury Tales,' St. Augustine's 'Confessions' ... even Shakespeare," the magazine wrote of the 56-year-old singer.

"After the Police split, Sting pursued a second career, liberating soccer mums from their 'soul cages.' Jazz musicians were involved. A lute was purchased. Volvo bumper stickers were quoted ('If you love someone, set them free')."

Rounding out the top five were Neil Peart from the band Rush, Scott Stapp from grunge band Creed, Noel Gallagher and folk singer Dan Fogelberg.

Of Fogelberg, the magazine said: "No-one can bum out a dentist's waiting room like this titan of 70s light rock. His sappiest moment might be his 1981 ode to the Kentucky Derby, Run For The Horses, in which he serenades a champion thoroughbred in weirdly erotic terms."

The magazine described Gallagher, member of UK group Oasis, as a buffoon and said he "probably could have used some Ritalin to go with the lager and cocaine".

Kiss band member Paul Stanley - whose lyrics include "Baby, let's put the 'x' in sex, love's like a muscle and you make me wanna flex" and "she's a dancer, a romancer, I'm a Capricorn and she's a Cancer" - was ranked seventh and was probably lucky not to have gone higher.

The top ten is:

1 - Sting

2 - Neil Peart

3 - Scott Stapp

4 - Noel Gallagher

5 - Dan Fogelberg

6 - Tom Marshall

7 - Paul Stanley

8 - Diane Warren

9 - Donovan

10 - Jim Morrison



link to article: http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/s...7-7642,00.html

Neil Peart? This article is crap. :p

This is total crap.

Sting has written beautiful lyrics that make up a thousand times for his few bad ones, and these few were never meant to be poetry or philosophy anyway.


Ponrauil

Jon did make the list though, at #22. I have to say I agree about the "horrendous Captain Crash" :lol:

22 • Jon Bon Jovi
Emphatically not a cowboy.

Many rockers see themselves as modern-day outlaws, but Bon Jovi stretched the analogy to the breaking point with “Wanted Dead or Alive,” wherein he roams around on a “steel horse” toting a “loaded six-string” and claims that one can determine what day it is “by the bottle that you drink.” At least that showed some imagination, as elsewhere he contents himself with reheating Bruce Springsteen or—on 2000’s horrendous “Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen From Mars”—Elton John.
Worst Lyric: “My heart is like an open highway/Like Frankie said, ‘I did it my way’” (“It’s My Life”)



And here's the rest of the list. Kind of makes me wonder who they think is a GOOD lyricist.

11 - Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar

12 - David Crosby

13 - Pete Gabriel, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks, Steve Hackett and Phil Collins

14 - Will.I.Am

15 - Bernie Taupin

16 - Ben Gibbard

17 - Jon Anderson

18 - Ian Anderson

19 - Queensrÿche

20 - Ryan Ross

21 - Alanis Morrissette

22 - Jon Bon Jovi

23 - Robert Plant

24 - Fred Durst

25 - KRS-One

26 - Simon LeBon

27 - Will Jennings

28 - Greg Graffin

29 - Timbaland

30 - Kevin Federline

31 - Carly Simon

32 - Matisyahu

33 - Diddy

34 - Henry Rollins

35 - Dashboard Confessional

36 - Common

37 - Bryan Adams

38 - Paul McCartney

39 - Billy Corgan

40 - Anthony Kiedis


http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?ID=2882

Guess the author of the article has never listened to It's Hard Letting You Go then...

C'mon. Every songwriter on the planet has some duff songs out there. Thing is, with Captain Crash, I think its intended to be a bit of a silly song and the lyrics reflect that - me, I love it. One of my faves from Crush.

I like Cap. Crash too. First time I heard it I immediately knew the band's intent was to make a fun and silly song.

Some people just have problems getting it.