It seems it's ok here to trash relationships but not ok to comment on a good one.

I'm sorry Maria - I have apologized to you on this subject more times than a few. BUT - why is it OK for you to talk about your relationships and not OK for me to talk about mine?

I get along well with my kids too - should I not talk about that?

And don't get me wrong - the family is not Pollyanna here. I've had plenty of screaming fights with my husband and my kids along the way. We are human beings that live together and being human beings there are conflicts along the way. The bottom line is we enjoy each others company even though that takes work to do sometimes.

I don't get how you draw this conclusion from my comments. I never said it wasn't ok to talk about good relationships and I never said that complaining about the bad ones is the only way to go.

You quoted me when I said that being emotionally corrupt will result in emotionally corrupt relationships and you said you disagreed! Basically dismissing my point and suggesting that it should be possible for anyone to be in a positive relationship because you are. I take issue with that because it is untrue. I don't take issue with you talking about what works in your relationship. That's a pretty big difference.

Never said people can't talk about positive relationships. In fact, I like to read about positive relationships because that is how I found out that my messed up situations are not normal or ok. It also is invaluable for others to point out that for some of us this is a seemingly insurmountable struggle and statements to that effect should not be dismissed.

(I re-read my post directed at you and I think I am pretty clear on what my issue is/was and it is not that I don't think that people can't talk about working relationships.)

I'm also not looking for apologies, but rather for understanding how certain comments may make other people feel. Understanding and realizations are more important to me than aplogetic words.

OH I know. I was referring to the little poor me moments that kick in, but everytime I've been liberated I come alive wondering why I even bothered in the first place.

Well, it is an American thing perhaps. There is no comparative male version.

Then it simply wasn't someone you could love enough to give yourself completely to.

I can't imagine what my ex (and one or two before her) would have to do to stop me loving her. She is absolutely fundamental to who I am.

We end up nearly killing each other when we're together, but she is still irresistable.

Because oftentimes being there for someone really means sacrificing something important of your self.

Because If a relationship is important to you, you will do almost anything to protect it.

Because people hurt and worry.

Because recognising when things are going wrong and talking about them honestly takes a hell of a lot of courage when there's a relationship on the line.

Oh. boy.

You'll be lucky if Maria doesnt caustrate you when she comes back to this thread. I personally just don't have the energy to reply.

Cheers to young lust.

Lust is to be enjoyed, is essential, but it's so far from the most important aspect of a relationship.

I stand by it. Real love lasts. It simply is.

How does any of that answer or justify the question?

They are all reasons that you put what you think is best for the relationship before what's best for you as an individual, or they are reasons that your judgement may be impaired.

Your self-esteem just becomes too tightly caught up in another person's opinion of you.