Keep The Faith Review from Rock Hard Magazine
 

Right....stumbled upon an album review by German metal magazine Rock Hard. It's in German so I had to translate it, but for the first time ever I think SPOT ON. WOW!

While the title track deserved a mention - this review is excellent! \,,/
http://www.rockhard.de/megazine/revi...eview%5D=11673

I totally agree.
Also Save a Prayer is an awesome track and they've sould've put Fields of Fire instead of Woman in Love and it would have been even greater than it already is.

Wow - a decent Bon Jovi review. A rare thing in any era LOL.

I remember Keep the Faith being trashed here in the USA. Here is the New York Daily News review from Nov. 1st, 1992 written by Jim Farber.

And the Bland Played On - Jim Farber for the New York Daily News - November 1st, 1992

Bon Jovi - Keep the Faith - Polygram - 0 stars

Oh Joy! The return of Bon Jovi! Just when you feared pop was getting too interesting, what with the assent of all that alternative and hip-hop music, Bon Jovi scrambles back after a four-year absence to prove there's still a place on the charts for soulless corporate swill.

And who better to telegraph this message than the Jovis? After all, the saddest - and the most astonishing - thing about this group has long been its ability to appear absolutely honest about the drivel it hacks out. It's as if they somehow managed to glide through thier entire lives without having a single insightful or troubling thought in thier heads, so that to them, this bald view of life is real. No wonder observers have long whispered that the Jovis are not people at all but rather body-snatched pods.

For just that reason, Bon Jovi is singularly qualified to have titled an album as arrestingly terrible as this one, "Keep the Faith." Who else could deliver such shallowness with such conviction?

Matter of fact, the new album calls for a significantly deepened commitment to vapidity. No longer content simply to clock-punch no-brain hand-me-downs like "Livin' on a Prayer" or "You Give Love a Bad Name" and eager to approximate growth after the long time away, the band here tackles "big subjects." Faith, hope, even death turn up. Yes folks, it's finally happened; Bon Jovi has gone existential.

Then again, this move is not without marketing savvy. With Springsteen de-mythlogizing himself adn U2 trying to pretend they have a sense of humor, who's left to act self-important?

No wonder Bon Jovi's fifith album is filled with the kind of pseudo-soaring doubled-timed guitars you'd expect from U2's The Edge (if only he couldn't play so well) and the sort of stadium-rattling drum volleys you'd hear from Max Weinberg (with one arm tied behind his back). Prime evidence is the opening track, "I Believe" which strikes a witless balance between "Born in the USA, " "Pride (In the Name of Love)" and , in case that's not enough, "Baba O'Riley." Equally bloated is the title track, with Jon mewling in a voice suggesting a tubercular Bruce Springsteen.

Again Jon proves himself every bit as overwrought a singer as Michael Bolton. The result is particularly gross in the sweepingly bad "Dry County" which revives the Western-motif calendar art from Jon's "Blaze of Glory"

Things get even scarier when Jon reaches for "art" in his lyrics. In "Bed of Roses" he stretches, only to wind up with lines as ungainly as "I wake up and french kiss the morning." HIs most potentially interesting reach, "If I Was Your Mother" rips off Mott the Hopple. Worse, Jon was clearly so nervous about the gender subversion in the lyric that he felt the need to marry it to the most lumbering macho riff possible.

Still, the band's shallowness - and thievery - don't stop there; they also rip off the idea of Warren Zevon's "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead."

Then again, the charm of this group comes in realizing that they are probably too dim to have heard of Warren Zevon. As if to prove the point, thier music seems utterly untouched by significant rock influences. The band may claim, in the icky "Blame it on the Love of Rock 'n' Roll," that they wanted to grow up to be the Stones. But is sounds more like they wanted to be Foreigner.

Of course, such tragic taste demands a kind of respect. Despite the group's new pretentions, it remains utterly credible in its blandness. No wonder of all major current rock bands, Bon Jovi stands as our most genuine mediocrity: pop's best intentioned void.

The review doesn't praise the improvisations, but the build-ups in Dry County, but your German is pretty effing good either way if you translated the rest of it, my friend!

Also, they gave These Days 4 out of 10, if I remember correctly... and HAND got 7 I believe. Bounce got a ton of praise as well, though.

Steigerungen - yeah, fair enough. My 'musical' German is not the best :P but my grandma is German and I learnt it as a little child, I have lived for 3 years in Bremen, and I still fly to Munich regularly to see Bayern play. So yeah - not a big deal, but thank you :D. And all I really did was adapt the Google Translate version anyway.

Read the other reviews too and they are all hit and miss...but this one particularly is a good review, which, as Kathleen points out, is pretty rare!

That is unnecessarily bitter, twisted and vile to be honest.

And 20 years later the stupid son of a bitch who wrote that shit was probably laid off sometime in the 2000s because of the internet while Bon Jovi is still the biggest tour of the year :cool:

Sad and ridiculous bad review. The guy of this review mocks how bad are the songs, but giving examples of similar sources of inspiration by Bruce Springsteen, U2, The Rolling Stones, The Who, Michael Bolton, Foreigner, Warren Zevon, Mott the Hopple... All great songs.

We´re used to bad reviews as people who like Bon Jovi, but this is another level. I write for a living (including reviews, not music) and this screams of someone who has either been scorned by the band at some point or is just trying to look cool by giving a review he thinks follows the public opinion (at that time). Intelligent readers know and dislike this kind of review, even if they agree with some of it.

I had to review a movie once and had the idea before watching it that I would hate it. So, I cheated (this happens a lot in pro review writing) and wrote the review before seeing the movie. I destroyed the movie based on my preconceptions and general public opinion, and it got published. I then watched the movie much later and found for what it was it had some redeeming factors.