[rocknation]

Who would have thought that we at JoviTalk would have a pair of musical celebrities among the ranks?

Congratulations to Panda for the success of his debut single:

Panda, Is That You?

Billboard: Panda pounces to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 (dated May 7 2016)...halting the nine-week reign of Rihanna's Work, featuring Drake...

Considering that Rihanna and Drake are each established hiphop heavyweights in their own right, Panda has pulled off quite a rookie coup by vanquishing them simultaneously! But now that you can expect some money to start coming in, may I tactfully suggest that you invest some in shaving supplies?

As for Becky, I guess it would require a JoviTalk moderator to clear the sky-high bar that Panda has set. She went straight to the top by being mentioned in the new Beyonce album Lemonade. The closing verse of the song Sorry:

Looking at my watch, he shoulda been home
Today I regret the night I put that ring on
He always got them fcking excuses
I pray to the Lord you reveal what his truth is

I left a note in the hallway
By the time you read it, I'll be far away
I'm far away

But I ain't fcking with nobody
Let's have a toast to the good life
Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes

Me and my baby, we gon' be alright
We gon' live a good life
Big homie better grow up
Me and my whoadies 'bout to stroll up

I see them boppers in the corner
They sneaking out the back door
He only want me when I'm not there
He better call Becky with the good hair
He better call Becky with the good hair

NBC News: Of the myriad talking points from Beyoncé's surprise visual album Lemonade, perhaps the most intrigue has centered around the identity of "Becky with the good hair."

It's unclear whether Beyoncé is singing autobiographically or assuming the voice of a fictional character...Rachel Roy, the ex-wife of Jay Z's former friend and business partner...posted a message...that many took as a reference to Beyoncé's lyrics...Beyoncé fans angrily posted to Roy's social media accounts using bee and lemon emojis...Roy's (Instagram) account was made private following a torrent of abuse...

KEVTV: With fervent loyalty...Beyoncé fans are speculating that fashion designer Rachel Roy is "Becky with the good hair," referenced in her new Lemonade album. But fans confused Roy with Rachael Ray, the home cook, posting nasty comments on her Instagram, Twitter and other social media platforms.

Don't worry, Becky, your secret's safe with us! I just hope you remembered to request royalty payments based on both airplay and sales. With Beyonce's albums having sold 20 million copies on average, even fractions of a penny would turn into a nice pile of cash. But if Z-eyonce (Beyonce plus hubby Jay Z) aren't giving you a piece of the action, you can always go the lawsuit route!

[Becky]

It's true... I do have good hair.

[rocknation]

Originally Posted by rocknation

...I just hope you remembered to request royalty payments...But if Beyonce isn't giving you a piece of the action, you can always go the lawsuit route!

GREAT NEWS, Becky -- you won't have to wait around for Beyonce to pay you royalties. Go directly to the lawsuit route, because you're already sitting on a gold mine!

You see, the concept of "the Becky" was born in 1992 with the opening scene of this video:

Baby Got Back - Sir Mix A Lot

The video's sentiment notwithstanding, resentful black women (the darker-skinned ones in particular) began referring to white women who were desired by black guys (the darker-skinned ones in particular) as "Beckys." Over the years (and with the help of butt implants, botox, skin bleaching, and the Kardashians) the "Self-Made Becky" came to mean socially prominent black women who lighten their skin and straighten or relax their hair, then color it red, brown, or blonde...just like, um, Beyonce...

Of course, that gives rise to the question of why Beyonce works so hard at looking like a Becky if she hates them because her husband likes them. And it gives rise to this exquisite situation: A Becky trying to call out a Self-Made Becky for trying to call out a Becky!

Daily News: ...Iggy Azalea...made it clear...she never wants to be referred to as a "Becky"...because she finds the term...just as offensive as calling a black woman "She Nay Nay" or an Asian woman "Ming Lee."

"Generalizing ANY race by calling them one stereotypical name...I personally don't think is very cool, the end," she (tweeted)...

Your moral indignation is noted, Iggy, along with your being white and engaged to a black pro athlete -- who cheated on you after you got engaged! Neither of you didn't seem to think it was important to mention whether he apologized, though...just like, um, Beyonce...

And that's where your lawsuit kicks in, Becky. By using your name without your permission and not paying you, Z-eyonce have "intentionally inflicted emotional distress" -- just like Richie did to Nikki Lund. They're reportedly worth one billion US dollars -- since you're technically a member of the family and Beyonce is employed outside her home, I think a third of it would be fair!

[Becky]

Class action lawsuit!!! Wheee!!

[rocknation]

Class action lawsuit? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

"Class action" means you'd have to allow any white woman in the United States with good hair called Becky to join your lawsuit -- AND that you would have to give them an equal share of your $333 million! Keep your lawsuit a private personal injury filing, and you'll be the only Becky who can collect!

[Becky]

I know. That was sarcasm. I'd get about $1.50 out of it.

[rocknation]

Panda's single has dropped to the #2 position behind Drake's, but he's fighting back by debuting on both national U.S. television

Panda - Steve Colbert Show

and on the worldwide web via Tidal!
http://www.latenightcreeps.com/2016/...fficial-video/

Oh, and thanks for taking my advice about shaving -- you look at LOT better!

[rocknation]

Who knows better than we Bon Jovi fans that there are envious, inadequate, lazy and hateful rivals whose only chance at success is via attacking the success of others? Well, Panda's success is proving to be no different:

Lil Donald - F**k Panda

Mature, intelligent professionals welcome criticism that is constructive and offered with respect and courtesy. But this is nothing but a "diss track," meant only to punish Panda for the crime of achieving what Lil Donald wants to. Trying to make the argument that Panda is unoriginal by using Panda's original music is hypocritical to say the least. And surely Donald's cover artwork qualifies as a criminal threat!

It's best to ignore his kind completely, Panda -- treat Lil Donald like water on a duck's back. He's merely the first of many parasitic detractors who will try to latch on as your star rises!

[Panda]

What is happening.

[rocknation]

You mean that ISN'T you? Sorry, my mistake...