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BREAKING! Bon Jovi Press Release: "The Circle Rocks!"

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  #1  
Old 08-19-2009, 04:11 AM
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Default BREAKING! Bon Jovi Press Release: "The Circle Rocks!"

Straight from the main site:

BON JOVI proudly present "We Weren't Born To Follow", the surefire smash single from their upcoming, heralded, surefire smash album "The Circle." The album is, as promised, a return to the band's rocking roots.

"We wanted the single to show what the feel of this record is gonna be like," frontman Jon Bon Jovi said. "As I promised, this album is a riff rock record. I told our diehard fans to trust me, and they'll see I gave my word: the completely muffled, nonexistent riff throughout the song really rocks during the cut-and-paste chorus. I think it's the best song we've written since the last time I made that statement. "The charming, embarrassingly look-conscious frontman adds with a chuckle: "I think last time I said a song was the best we ever wrote was Lost Highway. And before that, Make A Memory. So we obviously have been going up this whole time."

Jon believes 'The Circle' has a unique message. "It's about perseverance, for both the world and us as a band," he adds while standing outside his multi-million dollar penthouse: "I wrote songs like We Weren't Born to Follow and Work for the Working Man to show that I know what the average man is going through. The night Richie and I wrote Working Man, I went through several wikipedia articles on the economy and crammed all the words I could find about it into one song. I am a genius."

"This is a big loud record," Guitarist/womanizer Richie Sambora agreed soberly. "I love the guitar work Shanks and I did here." He mentions his favorite moment in the album: the stunning guitar work on 'We Weren't Born to Follow'. "That was a moment of pure inspiration, man," he says.

"I thought by yelling 'guitar' right before the apparent solo, It would only make Richie's pinky solo even more amazing," Jon adds.

Bon Jovi is not concerned what critics and so-called "music fans" think of the album or their band. "Look, we put less than a year into this album," he says defensively. "I know it's good. It's as rocking as anything else on the American Charts, shouldn't that be enough?"

Both drummer Tico Torres and keyboardist David Bryan were contacted about the album; however, neither can recall taking part in the album's production. In fact, both seem to have been unaware a new album was coming out.

"Could have fooled me," drummer Tico Torres said while beating up some punk on the streets of New York. "Then again, we don't really do anything anymore."

Bassist/Mannequin Hugh McDonald, however, had stark comments about the album: "It sucks," he said flatly. "Jon doesn't give a shit anymore. If only people knew it was I who wrote Slippery, New jersey, Keep the Faith and These Days!"

More to come...
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Old 08-19-2009, 04:28 AM
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Fool.. Not funny

Its people like this that dont deserve to listen to music.. Your a joke.
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Old 08-19-2009, 04:31 AM
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Fool.. Not funny

Its people like this that dont deserve to listen to music.. Your a joke.
Hmm, yes, expressing my dislike of this band's latest dismal outing therefore means I'm a fool (fool? are you a supervillain by any chance??) and that I don't deserve to listen to music.. at all. Sounds logical to me.
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Old 08-19-2009, 04:43 AM
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Hmm, yes, expressing my dislike of this band's latest dismal outing therefore means I'm a fool (fool? are you a supervillain by any chance??) and that I don't deserve to listen to music.. at all. Sounds logical to me.

Your making a joke (which wasnt even funny)
Out of a music bands hard work.. I find it sad.

Go listen to your dog blah .
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Old 08-19-2009, 04:56 AM
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Go listen to your dog blah .
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Old 08-19-2009, 05:04 AM
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Epic fail.
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Old 08-19-2009, 05:04 AM
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i usually don't read long posts but this one got me hooked. it's always a pleasure to read about the writing/producing process of bon jovi albums

btw thanx for the laugh
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Old 08-19-2009, 05:12 AM
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Brilliant.
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Old 08-19-2009, 05:19 AM
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good style
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Old 08-19-2009, 05:20 AM
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Thanks folks.


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Epic fail.
OMG LOL I USED FAIL AS AN INTERJECTION LOL I AM SO CLEVER
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